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Reddit Personals - r4r - 300,000+ - Activity Partners, Groups, Dating, Hanging Out, Soulmates, FWBs

2010.04.02 06:49 cinsere Reddit Personals - r4r - 300,000+ - Activity Partners, Groups, Dating, Hanging Out, Soulmates, FWBs

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2020.08.28 18:05 HaulA28Augl Ro-meo Ga-y Da-ting

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2020.07.04 19:05 BitBitBitBite My Life on the Internet Dating Circuit: Pandemic Edition

This is the internet so I am sure there are going to be trolls and jerks trying to shit on this post but overall I think it’s an experience worth sharing.
After a two year hiatus from dating since my divorce and relocating back to the Chicagoland area I decided to put myself out there again and re-enter the dating scene. Prior to this I had been married for nearly a decade and since then had two children and up until this point have lived in three different cities; NYC, Jacksonville, FL, and now Chicago (ish). I actually had decent luck in the past with internet dating and even married the mother of my children after meeting her on OkCupid.
Man, have things changed.
I decided to go with what worked in the past first and signed up for OkCupid. The app had totally changed and there was an entirely new layout and ridiculously high subscription rates for features that were free in the past. There are a thousand questions you can fill out to make it nearly impossible to match with anyone and based on your answers your matching percentage goes up or down. I am not sure what the science is behind this but since subscribing the past few months visual queues & questions are misleading. You can alter your answers to make it look as if you DO agree with a potential match which sort of defeats the purpose of being honest about the things that matter to you, but overall the questions are subjective and without meeting the person, can be totally taken out of context.
Week One:
I had only been online for about a week and started sorting through profiles of women who I thought were on the same wavelength. I am kind of an aging hipster in my mid 40’s but unlike many hipsters my age, has had a successful career, and overall emotionally mature and responsible. I just like dressing casual, that’s all. I don’t know if I am as attractive as I was in my 20’s or 30’s but I have kept up well, stayed thin, and still have a full head of hair. I quickly re-learned what I didn’t like about the Chicago dating scene and built up a criteria of things I did not want in my next relationship:
My First Match:
Ok I’ll skip to the ending on this one. I totally blew it. After a decade of being out of the online dating scene apparently I didn’t know there were new rules or habits of online dating. First thing I learned was that some women will wait a day or so before responding to a match because they want to see how eager they are. There is also apparently a thing called ‘ghosting’ where someone will like you but not respond after matching. With both of these in place I made the mistake of purchasing “Read Receipts” that allows you to see that the other person has read your messages. After matching with “Joan” I wrote to her a few times thinking she was tethered to her laptop like I was. I saw several ‘reads’ but no reply. A few more days passed and I began to vomit my insecurities in message form (total bonehead move!) and nothing seemed to make her budge. She eventually unmatched me after I wrote her that the ‘ghosting’ thing was kind of a bummer.
It was a bummer and in hindsight it was probably for the best. Someone who doesn’t write back on a dating site after liking you comes off as kind of cold. As much as it is frustrating to get ghosted it’s probably good to know that though they might have shown interest in you there is something clearly on their end that they are dealing with and I don’t want any part of that.
Expanding My Horizons:
After whiffing on OkCupid I expanded my horizons to the other big 3; Tinder; Match.com; Bumble.
Of the three I had more matches on Bumble. Women seemed to like my Wes Anderson references but other than that, after a message or two, it became a series of ghosting. I can say with certainty that I was ghosted at least 12 times on Bumble which statistically speaking is a lot. You only connect with those who might be slightly on your tip and I would have assumed 3 after my first round on OKC. I can’t tell if they liked me and didn’t read that I had kids or what but for whatever reason pretty much all the women, but one, ghosted me on Bumble.
Tinder wasn’t much different. I would match with a few women here and there but the difference would be that a few of them I actually had a decent connection with after a few chats. One went as far as adding me sending me her number & WhatsApp ID but after a few messages on there….you guessed it! Ghosted!
And you’re probably wondering “Well, what are you saying to these women?”
As a father of two daughters I assure you I am not sending anything raunchy and only engaged in playful talk and if it ever got sexual it was initiated first by the women.
There are probably a myriad of reasons someone ghosts you, and I am sure men do it too. I am a rational guy and know that perhaps they met someone, started chatting with someone, or just lost all hope in general and just gave up after matching with me.
I am not bitter at all about any of this.
Match.com had the most dates?
While it was nice to meet and date a few people since my hiatus after being divorced I have come to realize that with the relocation back to Chicago, witnessing the COVID 19 scare and the Black Lives Matter movement, and having two kids now might not be the best time for me to get into a serious relationship. I need more ‘me’ time and revisit the things that made me happy when my prior marriage wouldn’t allow me to.
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2020.07.02 22:11 knauff2 My New Years resolution was to listen to 365 albums and today I finished

Like the title says after 7 months I have completed my goal of 365 albums. I hope you enjoy the music on the list and see your favorites. Always looking for more great music so please let me know your favorites or what albums I should listen to based off of my list
  1. Social cues- Cage the Elephant
  2. Father of the bride- vampire weekend
  3. Purple mountains- purple mountains
  4. Abbey road- The Beatles
  5. No other name- Hillsong Worship
  6. Funeral- Arcade Fire
  7. Ok Computer- Radiohead
  8. The rise and fall of sight stardust- David Bowie
  9. Is this it- The Strokes
  10. Damn- Kendrick Lamar
  11. Vessels- Twenty one Pilots
  12. All of us- Sean Curran
  13. How to friend, love, and freefall- Rainbow Kitten surprise
  14. At midnight EP- Elevation Worship Bigger than I though EP- Sean Curran
  15. Empires- Hillsong United
  16. MTV Unplugged- Bleachers
  17. I like when you...- the 1975
  18. Caamp- Caamp
  19. Weezer- Weezer
  20. Live in Miami Pt.2- Hillsong United
  21. Selling England by the pound- Genesis
  22. Malibu nights- Lany
  23. Copper blue- Sugar
  24. Strange desire- bleachers
  25. MTV Unplugged- Nirvana
  26. Bridge over troubled water- Simon & Garfunkle
  27. The outsiders- Needtobreathe
  28. Sergeant peppers lonely hearts club- the Beatles
  29. Pinkerton- Weezer
  30. 1917- Thomas Newton
  31. Georgica Pond- Johnnyswim
  32. Talking is hard- walk the moon
  33. Blackout- Steffany Gretzinger
  34. Awake- Hillsong Worship
  35. Simple Gospel- United Pursuit
  36. Lover- Taylor Swift
  37. Delta- Mumford and Sons
  38. Wilder mind- Mumford and sons
  39. The White Album- Hillsong United
  40. 1989- Taylor Swift
  41. X & Y- Coldplay
  42. Badlands- Halsey
  43. Gold- Abba
  44. Simulation theory- Muse
  45. III Reimagined- Hillsong Y&F
  46. Wonder- Hillsong United
  47. High road- Kesha
  48. Citizens- Citizens
  49. Death of a bachelor- Panic at the disco
  50. 5AM- Amber Run
  51. Viva la vida or death and all his friends- Coldplay
  52. Reputation- Taylor Swift
  53. Night visions- imagine dragons
  54. Mirror master- Young the giant
  55. When I was younger- Colony house
  56. The stranger- Billy joel
  57. Smoke and mirrors- Imagine dragons
  58. Currents- Tame Impala
  59. Sight- The Eagle and Child
  60. There is more- Hillsong Worship
  61. Young the giant- Young the giant
  62. Victory- Bethel
  63. Dark side of the moon- Pink Floyd
  64. Evolve- Imagine dragons
  65. Hozier- Hozier
  66. Sign no more- Mumford and sons
  67. Hurry up we’re dreaming- M83
  68. Boys and girls- Alabama shakes
  69. Sing along 2- Phil Wickham
  70. Let hope rise- Hillsong
  71. Changes- Justin Bieber
  72. The slow rush- tame impala
  73. Hymns in the round- Shane and Shane
  74. Aftermath- Hillsong United
  75. Tear down the walls- Hillsong United
  76. The lumineers- the lumineers
  77. Interstellar- Hans Zimmer
  78. Only the lonely- Colony house
  79. Worthy of your name- Passion
  80. Follow you anywhere- Passion
  81. Youth revival- Hillsong Y&F
  82. Inception- Hans Zimmer
  83. This will destroy you- this will destroy you
  84. Dreamland- Coin
  85. III Live- Hillsong Y&F
  86. Technicolor- Elevation youth
  87. White album Pt.1- The Beatles
  88. How will you ever know if you never try- Coin
  89. Now I see- Elevation youth
  90. I’ll be the branches- Chris Renzema
  91. Zion Acoustic- Hillsong United
  92. Sound and color- Alabama Shakes
  93. Cleopatra- the lumineers
  94. Coin- coin
  95. Landmark- Hippo Campus
  96. El Camino- The Black Keys
  97. The 1975-the 1975
  98. Roar- Passion
  99. Sing along 4- Phil Wickham
  100. House on a hill- Amanda cook
  101. Run to the father- Cody Carnes
  102. We will not be shaken- Bethel
  103. Lover- Group Love
  104. How I’m feeling- Lauv
  105. The very best of supertramp- supertramp
  106. Bambi- Hippo Campus
  107. Demos I- Hippo campus
  108. Leave what’s lost behind- colony house
  109. Acoustic sessions, Volume 1- needtobreathe
  110. Without words: synesthesia- Bethel
  111. All of the above- Hillsong United
  112. Love secrets- John Mark Pantana
  113. Circles- Mac Miller
  114. Teal album- Weezer
  115. You make me brave- Bethel Music
  116. Banner- desperation band
  117. After hours- The Weeknd
  118. Grace is on our side- vertical worship
  119. Fear- Citizens
  120. Blade Runner- Vangelis
  121. Twenty four- Jonathan Ogden
  122. All things new- Rivers and robots
  123. Take the world, but give me Jesus- Ascend the hill
  124. Starlight- Bethel
  125. Carried- Isla vista worship
  126. Faultlines- Forhill
  127. What’s going on- Marvin Gaye
  128. Pet Sounds- Beach boys
  129. Forever amen- Steffany Gretzinger
  130. Choose to worship- Rend collective
  131. Symphony number 9- Ludwig Van Beethoven
  132. Green album- Weezer
  133. Spreading Rumours- Grouplove
  134. Bellwether- Giants & Pilgrims
  135. The suburbs- arcade fire
  136. Beautiful things- gungor
  137. How to be a human being- glass animals
  138. Spring EP- Jonathan Ogden Winter EP- Jonathan Ogden
  139. Mission house- mission house
  140. Seven+Mary- Rainbow Kitten Surprise
  141. Glory EP- Jervis Campbell Even in the dark EP- Antoine Bradford
  142. Have it all- Bethel Music
  143. The click- AJR
  144. I couldn’t be more in love- the 1975
  145. Summer EP- Jonathan Ogden Autumn EP- Jonathan Ogden
  146. Wasteland, baby!- Hozier
  147. Dance again- Jason Piquette
  148. My. Joy- Mt. Joy
  149. Citizen of heaven- Tauren Wells
  150. Cupid deluxe- blood orange
  151. Holy ground- Jeremy Riddle
  152. There is a cloud- Elevation Worship
  153. My beautiful dark twisted fantasy- Kanye West
  154. Joshua Tree- U2
  155. Thriller- Michael Jackson
  156. Bright faith bold future- Vertical Worship
  157. Indie hymnal- Greg Attwells
  158. Alive & breathing- Matt Maher
  159. Yahweh- Hillsong Chapel
  160. Forever reign- Hillsong Chapel
  161. Saintmotelevision- Saint Motel
  162. Who’s gonna love me- Armors
  163. Eyes open- Snow Patrol
  164. Walk the moon- Walk the moon
  165. Norman fing Rockwell- Lana Del Rey
  166. Without words: Genesis- Bethel
  167. Rks- Rainbow Kitten Surprise
  168. Kid A- Radiohead
  169. IV- Led Zeppelin
  170. The Joy of Being (phone demos)- Citizens
  171. White flag- Passion
  172. Rumours- Fleetwood Mac
  173. Paradoxology- Elevation Worship
  174. Channel orange- Frank Ocean
  175. ZABA- Glass Animals
  176. The undoing- Steffany Gretzinger
  177. Live 2003- Coldplay
  178. In rainbows- Radiohead
  179. War- U2
  180. MTV Unplugged- Alice In Chains
  181. 808’s and Heartbreaks- Kanye West
  182. At Folsom Prison- Johnny Cash
  183. Happiness begins- Jonas Brothers
  184. A Hundred Million Suns- Snow Patrol
  185. Blonde- Frank Ocean
  186. Golden hour- Kacey Musgraves
  187. Star Wars revenge of the sith- John Williams
  188. Raiders of the lost ark- John Williams
  189. Zion- Hillsong United
  190. Zeal- Kings Kaleidoscope
  191. The Empire strikes back- John Williams
  192. X men first class- Henry Jackman
  193. London Calling- The Clash
  194. Stir a passion- worship central
  195. Remain in light- Talking Heads
  196. Purple rain- Prince
  197. Become someone- boymeetsworld
  198. Live in cook county jail- B.B King
  199. The Road to Red Rocks- Mumford and sons
  200. I might be wrong- Radiohead
  201. Live at the electric factory- The Fray
  202. Remedy club tour edition- David Crowder band
  203. Live 2012- Coldplay
  204. Speak Now World Tour Live- Taylor Swift
  205. Live from the Vic in Chicago- cage the elephant
  206. DH00278- The 1975
  207. A mirror dimly- citizens
  208. Live in Prague- Hans Zimmer
  209. Live in Shea stadium Pt. 1- Billy Joel
  210. Live at Rome Olympic Stadium- Muse
  211. Springtime- Chris Renzema
  212. Awake Deluxe- Hillsong Worship
  213. Return of the Jedi- John Williams
  214. Live at Red Rocks Amphitheater- Vance Joy
  215. The phantom menace- John Williams
  216. Live at Shea Stadium- Billy Joel
  217. Church- Jesus Culture
  218. Keeper of days- Jon Guerra
  219. Maverick city Vol.3- Maverick City Music
  220. I walk the line- Johnny Cash
  221. Speak now- Taylor Swift
  222. Californiacation- Red Hot Chili Peppers
  223. Dream your life away- Vance Joy
  224. Mylo Xyloto- Coldplay
  225. Staying at Tamras- George Ezra
  226. Only by the night- Kings of Leon
  227. The resistance- Muse
  228. Cage the elephant- cage the elephant
  229. Yankee Hotel Foxtrot- Wilco
  230. Gunfighter ballads and trail songs- Marty Robbins
  231. Hotel California- Eagles
  232. The beautiful letdown- Switchfoot
  233. Tea for the tillerman- Cat Stevens
  234. Imagine- John Lennon
  235. Albertine- Brooke Fraser
  236. Every Kingdom- Ben Howard
  237. Continuum- John Mayer
  238. Frozen 2- Various artists
  239. Mulan- Various artists
  240. Graves into gardens- Elevation Worship
  241. Frozen- Various artists
  242. Tangled- Various artists
  243. Mountains beaches cities- Moon Taxi
  244. Pronounced Leh-nerd skin-nerd - Lynard Skynard
  245. Are experienced- The Joni Hendrix Experience
  246. Moana- Various artists
  247. Graceland-Paul Simon
  248. Live at the banks house- United Pursuit
  249. The loft sessions- Bethel Music
  250. Tides Live- Bethel Music
  251. Red- Taylor Swift
  252. Come around sundown- Kings of Leon
  253. Sheer heart attack- Queen
  254. In between dreams- Jack Johnson
  255. Blood sugar sex magik- Red Hot Chilli Peppers
  256. Diamonds- johnnyswim
  257. Fearless- Taylor Swift
  258. A head full of dreams- Coldplay
  259. Blurryface- Twenty one pilots
  260. Ghost stories- Coldplay
  261. The walking in between- Ben Rector
  262. Talking heads 77-Talking heads
  263. Human- Mosaic MSC
  264. Live in Buenos Aires- Coldplay
  265. Heatwave- Harbour
  266. Carrollton- Carrollton
  267. Symphony- Switch
  268. Who’s next- The Who
  269. Waking up- OneRepublic
  270. Blonde on blonde- Bob Dylan
  271. Wilder Woods- Wilder Woods
  272. The head and the heart- the head and the heart
  273. Final straw- snow patrol
  274. Make believe- Weezer
  275. Van Halen- Van Halen II
  276. Notes on a conditional form- the 1975
  277. Revolver- The Beatles
  278. Folk Hop N’ Roll- Judah and the lion
  279. MMHMM- Reliant K
  280. Good news for people that love bad news- Modest Mouse
  281. Live at rock wood music hall- Johnnyswim
  282. Peace- Bethel Music
  283. Living mirage- the head and the heart
  284. Modern vampires of the city- vampire weekend
  285. Physical Graffiti- Led Zeppelin
  286. Room for squares- John Mayer
  287. Raise every voice- David’s tent
  288. A night at the opera- Queen
  289. Son of a father- Dante bowe
  290. Pep Talks- Judah and the lion
  291. Good time- Oneohtrix Point Never
  292. Thoughts on letting go- Harbour
  293. Revivals in the air- Bethel Music
  294. Walls- kings of Leon
  295. Tell all my friends- Will Reagan
  296. Cosmic- Bazzi
  297. Heart. Passion. Pursuit. Live- Tasha Cobbs Leonard
  298. When it’s all over we still have to clear up- snow patrol
  299. Eyes to see- FRVR FREE
  300. Live at red rocks vol 1- United pursuit
  301. We are fearless- FEARLESS BND
  302. All that you can’t leave behind- U2
  303. Garden- United Pursuit
  304. The ghost of the mountain- tired pony
  305. Power- we are messengers
  306. Everyday life- Coldplay
  307. Red Sea road- Ellie Holcomb
  308. Singin’ the blues- B. B King
  309. I Am- earth, wind, and fire
  310. Rearrange us- Mt. Joy
  311. LANY- LANY
  312. Summer days- The Beach Boys
  313. The art of celebration- rend collective
  314. Can you believe it- Hillsong kids
  315. Despierta- Hillsong en espanol
  316. Born to run- Bruce Springsteen
  317. Cosmos factory- Clearance Clearwater Revival
  318. Legend- Bob Marley & The Wailers
  319. Take everything- Rivers and robots
  320. Church volume 2- Jesus Culture
  321. Definitely Maybe- Oasis
  322. Ten- Pearl Jam
  323. Way Maker Worship- Mass Anthem
  324. You don’t mess around with Jim- Jim Croce
  325. 21- Adele
  326. Reworked- Snow Patrol
  327. Aha shake heartbreak- Kings of Leon
  328. Never mind the bullocks, we’re the Sex Pistols- Sex Pistols
  329. The beauty between- Kings Kaleidoscope
  330. The Allman brothers band- the allman brothers band
  331. Maverick city music, Vol 2- Maverick city music
  332. Innervisions- Stevie Wonder
  333. Saturday night fever- Bee gees
  334. Maverick city music, Vol 1- Maverick city music
  335. The human condition- Jon Bellion
  336. 25- Adele
  337. Live at the Apollo- James Brown
  338. tryhard- The band Camino
  339. Paranoid- Black Sabbath
  340. Neon Bible- Arcade Fire
  341. Exile on main st.- The Rolling Stones
  342. Band on the run- Wings
  343. Automatic for the people- R.E.M
  344. Grace- Jeff Buckley
  345. Ella and Louis- Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
  346. The miseducation of Lauryn Hill- Lauryn Hill
  347. Full moon fever- Tom Petty
  348. Can’t slow Down- Lionel Richie
  349. Wilder- Wilder
  350. Fine line- Harry Styles
  351. Fractioned heart- Gable Price and Friends
  352. Taylor Swift- Taylor Swift
  353. Jolene- Dolly Parton
  354. Babel- Mumford and sons
  355. 19- Adele
  356. The heat- needtobreathe
  357. Live at Velfarre- Earth, Wind, & fire
  358. Master of reality- Black Sabbath
  359. Everybody wants- the struts
  360. Certifiable- The Police
  361. The game- Queen
  362. Goodbye yellow brick road- Elton John
  363. Coloring book- Chance the rapper
  364. Chaos and the calm- James Bay
  365. Ride the lightning- Metallica
submitted by knauff2 to Music [link] [comments]


2020.03.31 22:22 bbukrpdr 🦠🏁 Fake Drag Race - S1E1: "Corona-She-Betta-Don't" [PART ONE]

A swedish beauty; unconventionally black hair and glistening pools of honey for eyes, puddles of maple swirling around the pupil and shining as to have been struck by the purest ray of sunlight. Her eyes framed with bold and brazen eyebrows which, in full bloom, would not fray from being thick. This stark, charcoal feature was contrasted by the healthy sheen to her smooth honey-sickle skin, glazing over her plump lips which had been pressed against the bud of a rose; a quaint pink pigment complimenting her slight, blushing undertones.
Nestled in her cupid bow was a beauty mark, soon to be hidden by the placement of an AB crystal that illuminated her face in a kaleidoscope of colours from the refraction of light. A show of Northern Lights subsequently danced on her canvas, contorting as she angled her face in a mirror into a variety of poses.
It was only when the focus shifted in the mirror from the spectacle of beauty to the reflection that the realization that she was in no boudoir; nor an inside setting occured. A concrete jungle of skyscrapers towered like goliath in the distance, the approaching cars miniscule in comparison. Natural, diegetic sounds faded in; the classic harmony of crowds, cars beeping - and people beeping with cusses - during rush hour. The orchestra of New York, or more specifically, Manhattan.
SOME RANDOM ROAD MANHATTAN
The cusses were actually from a man parked behind the queen, who herself sat in an unexpected vehicle; a mahusive, dingey truck which had been stained from time and many journeys through polluted streets. A perfume of must and damp, a node of oil-leakage somewhere and a slight trace of retired Victoria Secret perfume.
“If I turned around and called him a cuck I’d be called a tranny-” she twists the radio’s volume dial to block out the sound of ignorance, seemingly looking down at what was thought to be an empty guest chair “- I should just send you to sort him out, huh.”
Her downward gaze drew focus to a petite, auburn pomeranian, twisting her head at her owner as if to be serving Stephen Hawkings in a face category. The dog’s paw scratches at a lone watch in the mid-section between the two chairs, yapping in excitement.
“Oh shit, it’s time. I almost forgot. Good baby.”
The camera traces her hand down to the glove compartment, pulling out a veil of rhinestone netting and pulling it over her head. An empty gap was left open for her lips to be squeezed through, two holes cut for her eyes also, albeit not too much use as she opted for a pair of opaque black cat eye sunglasses instead that she’d left on the floor.
A final action-match shot showed the puppy's paw pushing forward the gear and the ‘womans’ hand twisting the radio volume dial up more; an appropriate song beginning to play as she gripped onto the wheel. Her boot slammed down onto the reverse pedal, crushing the cussing man’s car behind her before turning right into the road - currently ‘empty’ with the virus outbreak chaos.
“Telling Fantasia that Smacahoe had coronavirus didn’t work-” she looks up to red lights, continuing to race past anyway “- but the second I told her Starry had it, she left straight from work. If my triangulation of fast food restaurants is right, this fatty should be on the next road…”
The last leg of the race. The upcoming, right-turn avenue would be her final destination, the queen speeding and swerving down into the lane and slamming on the acceleration. A rhinestoned sports car is seen pulling out, but unaware of the oncomi-
She slams the truck straight into the sports car, sending that bitch flying like Quinn and whipping it straight into a pole near Grand Central Park. Fantasia, who had been driving the car, was yeeted out of the shattered front window and bounced across the road onto the path. People walked past the helpless queen with fear that touching her would infect with them gay, and corona, virus; her body surrounded by a cesspool of pink rhinestones and glass shards which scattered a rainbow veil on the concrete around her.
Her crippled body twitched, her eyelash still as wonky as before, staring off into the gates of the park and awaiting for help. It was not too long she had to wait, a click-clack of heels heard strutting over, Naomi Campbell was here to save he-
“It’s my time to shine now, mother.”
The black-heels, now in-frame of the shot, twisted in the rubble as to conjure a plume of rhinestone dust to enhance her arrival, with evidently no motion to help the queen up. A gloved hand lowers to pat the queens back, a cold, everlasting touch.
“You never even gave me a number name, you spent more time facilitating obesity on Reddit Dragula than you did ever care for me.”
She’s not wrong. Still doesn’t mean it’s ok. Neither is leaving her mother crippled on the floor, but who doesn't love a good mother-daughter rivalry. The camera switched to an above angle as the heels left the shot, the pool of fragmented car parts spelling out: Fake Drag Race, Fantasia’s now-risen surrender flag showing an imprint of checkerboard fabric billowed in the wind, the title sequence glitching and contorting.
Time for a new age. And a new pair of legs.
The conundrum of static colour, manifested from the prior glitching and subsequent pixelation, gradually began to diffuse. Silhouettes of variant, purple, white, black and blue colour could be seen as each pixel slowly restored back to normal; such shapes revealed to be mannequins, wigs, spotlights - everything drag.
The room was vast, as if it were a Manhattan penthouse from the upper-east side, renovated to be an open plan space albeit the notes of luxury left with the stylistic choices. A double-vaulted ceiling, towering exposed brick walls that had been painted stark white or black to compliment the contrast against otherwise bright, neon lighting.
In one way, it was a boudoir room on steroids; a lineage of marble-varnished mirrors lined against the furthest wall besides a glass surface-top and alternating colour stalls beneath. Stacks and pyramids of make-up cases provided by Jaclyn Hill beauty placed like jenga puzzle pieces on a platinum-pole luggage cart which had been emblazoned with intermittent crystals, not too distant from clothing racks neatly tucked away in the adjacent wall.
The floor was too marble in the make-up area, the space occupied by a pair of giant, velvet lips which also acted as a sofa and a giant lipstick (for your pleasure) reminiscent of the season’s promotional work. An arrangement of marble-slate top workstations orbited the center of the room, each topped with a sewing machine and seamstress tools hanging from nails on either side.
Fabric for the sewing machines could be found up the stairs on the nearest wall, traced by a gallery of empty frames which were filled with paintings of the competitions inspirations: Tiffany, a profile of Christian Sirriano’s rat looking ass besides a collage of his work, the series concluding with a family portrait of Smacahoe and her sister Flashback Mary.
Actually up these stairs was the open fabric room, each wall lined with bolts of both rich and questionably tacky fabrics for the queens to use, as well as an artillery of stolen jewelry to accessorise their runways.
This was the competition's work room, on Floor 64.
FLOOR 64 WEEK ONE
Oh, and there’s also a mini-bar for the alcoholics on the one side.
“Let’s destroy them!”
The unexpected voice of Rebecca More and Sophie Anderson echoes around the boudoir room, coming from the entrance; or for that matter, the ring of the elevator. Stylised to be exquisitely ‘old-fashioned’ but renovated with a cohesive platinum twist, the restored number dial rising with a recognisable flicker of gold luminescence. Rumour has it, you enter on the bottom floor in rags, and step out on floor 64 with the riches, a star. It’s your choice whether you believe it or not, but these contestants would soon test this as to be real, or a old-wives tale.
Speaking of contestants, if the floor-integrated spotlights flickering blue-white dramatically was anything of a sign, we were to expect our first fake queen or king to enter. Each click of the elevator rising reminisced in the room, the echo fading and making way for a sound of churning electrical current.
The lights dim with a spotlight near the workroom entrance, and a queen walks in. She is tall but slim, with legs that could only be rivaled by Naomi Smalls. She walks in wearing a simple black cocktail dress, carrying a simple black purse. The top of the dress is flooded with sequins, and the bottom is made of tulle, with rhinestones scattered here and there. She is wearing black heels, which have also been bedazzled with more rhinestones. She is sporting her natural golden blonde hair in an updo, with a fascinator that matches her dress. She walks into the workroom and says -
"Oh, don't mind me; I shouldn't be long. I'm just here for my crown and 100 grand, then I'll be on my way."
May, the first queen, declares to an empty room. Crickets could quite literally be heard, but a chorus of applause was played through speakers via producer interference to save for the awkwardness. She turned from staring blankly - into blank spaces about the room, to smiling back at the camera.
[MAY I. HAVANOTHER]: My name is May I. Havanaother, I’m 21 and from Denver, CO! I signed up for this as it seemed like an interesting experience, and I thought it would be fun to try it out. My drag style in 3 words would be polished, elegant and comedic, and I would definitely see myself as a hero this season, maybe even this season’s Miss Congeniality. If I don’t win, that is. I plan to bring my friendly self, along with some amazing runway looks. I will admit that I’m not as experienced in the drag world, but who says you need to be experienced to do well in this season? Be warned, fellow competitors.
“First one in? Hopefully not the first one out.”
She takes a curious step over to the nearest workstation, her eyes taking bewildered glances around the werkroom. That is until she spotted the mini-bar, wandering on over and preparing a martini as she waited for the next queen. Not for the next contestant, but herself.
“I don’t even like martini’s but anything to look more glamoro-”
Oh shit, onto the next one!
May drops the glass and spills it’s contents on her dress.
“That fucking elevator bell.”
Elegant music can be heard as Rose Schwartz enters the werkroom. The sound of her stomping her heels takes over the entire room. She is a vision in red. From her red finger wave wig, to her gorgeous, tailored red suit, down to her 6 inch red pumps. She is accessorised with long, red nails, a red necklace with matching red rings, and two small earrings shaped like the letters "R" and "S" (also, red). Her makeup is a beautiful red mug, with plump red lips and a glistening red eyeshadow. In her left hand is a wine glass, taller than any wine glass that's ever been seen on television. The glass is full of a red liquid, mirroring the color of Rose's look (did I mention it was red?). Rose stops and poses, lifting the wine glass up into the air, and putting her right hand on her waist.
"L'chaim!"
- she says in a sexy tone, with a seductive smile on her face. She then proceeds to drink the entire glass in a single sip, and gently drops it to the floor. She sighs in satisfaction, and then she......BURPS?!!! The elegant music stops abruptly and a rattlesnake sound effect is played. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Rose puts her hand on her mouth and giggles.
“My bad," she says. "Also, don't worry that was just cranberry juice".
A revival of an instrumental house-music beat plays as the queen enters the workroom, taking her time to pose in the camera like a clapped covergirl model.
[ROSE SCHWARTZ]: Hi everyone! My name is Rose Schwartz, I'm on the edge of seventeen and I'm from the faraway land of Israel! I signed up for FDR, because...well... I don't really have anything better to do! But also, I LOVE competitions, & I wanna show the world what I'm capable of, and have some fun doing it! In 3 words, I would describe my drag as A.S.S: Authentic Silly & Stunning But don't be expecting to see any a/s/s from me, because your girl is skinny as hell and I can't leave the house to buy me some butt pads! What I'm gonna bring to this season is a lot of creativity, a lot of humour, a lot of interesting lerks, and definitely some shade! So I hope I won't end up as the villain (but if I do, c'est la vie... the other girls probably had it coming). Any final words? I wanna wish the other contestants good luck, and I hope that they stay healthy and safe, cause that's exactly what they're gonna be in this competition...
A scrunched, stained napkin comes from the right-side of the frame, landing beside the voguing queen's foot and halting her to a stop. She stares down at the conspicuous napkin whilst frozen with hands still framed around her face and her back still bent back -
“Damn, someone’s already here?”
- she leans back forward, kicking the napkin to the side as she heads the direction it came from.
“Hi!” Rose spots May beside the bar, heading for a hug before- “You’re… wet?”
“Sophie Anderson, martini, kind of a long story haha.”
The queen tips her glass upside down, realising not one drip had remained of her cock destroyed drink that she’d been pretending to sip as Rose walked over. She sighs, pulling Rose into a wet, slimy hug; giving up her failed attempt of appearing like a mid-menopausal Gossip Girl mom and embracing her namesake as clown.
“Hopefully they’ll bring in another queen who’s an actual clown so I can still look half decent.”
Give them what they want, motha. Only that this time, the steel womb of the elevator was coughing up something more… manly.
The werkroom stills, waiting for the next competitor to walk in. The queens already inside hear a loud clonking sound - clonk, clonk, clonk. Soon after, they see its source - Frankie M. Cyanide stomps in, wearing their signature glitter platform pimp shoes - some of the sparkles have been rubbed off from overwear, but they're still bright enough to distract the casual viewer from realizing. Frankie's legs are tightly confined in a pair of pleather biker pants, showing off an impressive bulge and feminine hips. Their torso is cinched for the gods in a black corset emblazoned with rhinestones, covered with a chic biker jacket covered in pins that they'd picked up from DragCons past. They've drawn on some impressive cleavage.
Frankie's hair is styled in their signature curly brown pompadour, gelled to perfection like a greaser, or perhaps like that one character in that JoJo's Bizarre Adventure anime that Frankie's never actually seen. Their sideburns are gelled down into their cheek contour halfway to their stately nose, framing their face and eyes. They've done their lids in turquoise and hot pink with dramatic white and black liner, their lips are a deep red, and their brows are sharp and thick.
Frankie cocks their head to the side -
"Gender? I hardly knew 'er!"
[FRANKIE M. CYANIDE]: My name's Frankie M. Cyanide! What's the M stand for? Good question. Usually it just stands for "Mmmehhhh...?" I mostly perform out of Connecticut and I'm working on taking over, as Doofenshmirtz would say, the entire tri-state area. Where I'm from is of no importance (but it's New York and I will defend it to the death). For years, I was always the youngest person in all my social groups... then I got into drag, and apparently to many at 27 I'm considered middle-aged now. Just like everyone else, I'm bored and want something to do while quarantined... Also, since I perform in the real world too, this'll give me inspiration for future looks if the apocalypse ever ends! My drag style in 3 words would be cheesy, ridiculous, dramatic. "Hero", "Villain"... These words mean so little in today's day and age, no? But idk I'd say I probably average out to Chaotic Good. I’m going to bring stupid fun and sideburns! Some of history's greatest artists did their best work while quarantined for plagues. ...Of course, many more probably died during that time so that shouldn't really inspire you much.
As with the previous entrance, the house music returned to play in synchrony with this king’s appearance, only that it was now remixed with clown honks in a cartoonish beat. Perfect for Frankie’s apparent silliness and enthusiastic, comical expressions. You’d hire him as a clown, but I don’t think you’d trust him at the kids parties; his first motion being a wank gesture at the two ladies.
“I don’t know whether to spread my legs and squeeze my prolapse like it’s a clown nose or use the sweat off my taint to slip him up.”
May turns to Rose, grabbing her legs and enclosing them having noticed them start to gradually open.
“Hey guys!”
Frankie winks at the pair with a charm and sparkle, side-stepping and sliding over to them. He spins on his toes for them to get another full, 360 look at his entrance look before taking a second to hug and observe the competition himself.
“You’re god damn chaotic but I love every second of it.”
[ROSE SCHWARTZ]: We’re 3 people into the season and this cast is already looking stacked. That king is one hell of a personality and May has the same congenial, yet clumsy presence of Big Momma.
All aboard, and all eyes to the elevator. Chaos and excitement settles as their enthusiasm is drawn back to the arrival of a new contestant. The metal doors capture the momentary reflection of the adjacent double-vaulted windows of the Manhattan sky, before ripping apart and showing the only star left to be seen in frame.
As the fellow contestants wait, the sound of heels from the elevator come into ear, and Venetia comes into frame. She’s wearing pants in a shimmery dark green with a somewhat exaggerated geometric hip starting at the waist and tapering above the ankle. She has on a stoned and sparkly tube top and and an off the shoulder jacket in a matching green as the pants. She is wearing minimal jewelry, stud earrings and a false nose ring, along with a simple silver pump to match the jewelry and top. For the makeup, she’s going with a simple base that matches her olive complexion with green tones for shadow and a nude lip color. She’s wearing a side parted black wig that has that “fresh out of the shower” look. After a couple steps into the “werkroom” she says-
“Watch out everyone, Venetia is in the building!”
“Watch out y’all, she’s warning us of that stank must she’s brought into the room.”
[VENETIA]: I’m Venetia, a 23 year old queen from Chicago! I'm signing up for FDR because I want a creative outlet to bring the fabulous drag queen in my mind to life, as that’s not something I can do in my current situation. I’m a triple F, Funny, Fierce, and Fashion and I think I’ll straddle the hero/villain like I tend to be a nice queen but I won’t hesitate to give my opinion when I feel it’s necessary. I’m also going to bring an energy that this show needs. I’d say that I’m a queen who’s young and has fresh ideas, but also has a strong sense of polish and “she knows what she’s doing” as opposed to some young queens who don’t. My final words would be how fun I think being cast would be, to meet new friends and be a part of something! Thank you for your consideration!
Frankie glares at the queens sparkles as if to be a magpie, chirping in excitement to see someone as equally glittery and bright. The sunlight of sunset pouring into the renovated penthouse makes a spectacle of Venetia, as she takes a longer pause to pose for the camera. She’s sidetracked by the actual spectacle of the luxurious room around her, then drawn to the sound of wolf-whistling competitors.
A mischievous smile dawns her face as she blushes from the appraisal, shimmying and gesturing to herself, taking in every last compliment.
“Damn guys, it’s not charity work-” Venetia steps over and greets each individually “- you can stop making me flustered now. I already look like I’ve been clapped between two thighs.”
“I’ll clap you with my thighs…”
May smirks, breaking out into laughter as she invites the queen to sit next to her with the tap on a vacant stool.
[MAY I. HAVANOTHER]: No seriously, I’d clap her between my thighs. Maybe she’ll pass out and we can continue with one less stunner.
One less stunner? How about one more? The voice of Kylie Jenner is the next to be screamed by the elevator -
Is that a little pig?
- even though we’re expecting this incoming wolf to blow the other piggies houses down.
“Venetia-” Frankie pats her leg concerningly “- she’s speaking about you.”
“Bitch.”
With one elegant turn on her heel, Peach comes round the entrance corner. She's completely stoic in the face, stone-eyed, gentle pout, tall and slim. She pauses, hands-on-hips, and then poses. A beat. In glittering silver heels that look deathly to walk in, she struts into the werkroom as if it's her runway. She's wearing a complete Vivienne Westwood inspired look; a white sheer lace dress that stretches from the top of her neck (where it frills) down to her ankles (where it parts to create a slight train behind her heels), the sleeves are long, and ridiculously ruched at the top as if two magical transparent clouds are on either shoulder. Atop the dress is a white silk corset which cinches the body incredibly tight, and cups the shape of her pecs which are visible beneath the lace of the torso area in the dress. The defining accessories are a brown leather belt with sword attached (in a brown leather case). They match in colour exactly, as with the brown of her long straight middle-parted wig which slinks down her chest. Her mug is earth and neutral tones, hollowed out dark-contoured cheeks with a brown gradient eye shadow and glossy nude lips and completely browless. Her eyes are a grey colour, matching the silver jewels on her ears.
When she reaches her mark, she takes the sword out its clasp and - without so much as flinching in the face - licks it.
"Tasty."
[PEACHES] [PEACH]: My name is Peach just like the Princess, the fruit, and the Timothée Chalamet sex toy! I’m originally from London, England but currently I’m a small Peach in a Big Apple (that’s a New York City reference). I’m 21 years old and I signed up for FDR because I’m a writer, I love drag, and I’ve always dreamed of being a drag queen but sadly lack the talent and money in real life! My drag in three words would be… new age witch. I’d be a villain, because I’m a cunt. I’m going to bring a dynamic blend of fashion, art, and magic, with an incredible lack of decorum. I’m just what drag race has been looking for: another skinny white queen!
Did she just reference Timothee Chalamet? That’s just about white. The ominous presence this villain-esque queen demanded may have been the first chill to breeze into the room, although her happy, wide-spread grin when first seeing and meeting the others grants a welcome warmth that says otherwise.
[PEACH]: Don’t be fooled. I was happy at that moment. Remember that beautiful grin as it’s the only time you’ll see it, other than when I’m winning challenges.
“You so bad-”
Venetia sings to her, Peach looking like a paralytic being able to twitch for the first time as she attempts to twerk on her way over to the group.
“- and baby I want you so bad, yeah.”
To which Frankie and May finish the lyrics, greeting the queen with a symphony which satisfied her villainous ego and presence. She said she was a cunt, so let’s hope she doesn’t swallow these queens whole.
“Nice to meet you all-” She greets the others, holding her hand out to Frankie who kisses the back of it “- especially you.”
“Did it taste like cold stone?”
Venetia turns to Frankie and asks after his slobber remains imprinted on Peach’s hand -
“Nope, just like a shop bought peach… filled with another familiar taste.”
- shrugging at his response and squinting in an attempt to think of what that ‘other taste’ would be. Although merely a joke; the self-proclaimed vemenous queen actually proactively made sure to say hello to each, the lens focus shifted from a constipated looking, confused Venetia to the hugging in the background. Her spit may be acid but there must be some good juju in this tapped water, keeping everyone congenial, albeit likely due to their mutual excitement.
That excitement however is not enough excitement, we need more, and subsequently more contestants. The elevator pings, ovulation had been completed - now it was time for discharge.
About 5 or 6 girls have already made their way into the workroom. Everyone is being cordial and friendly—but it’s now time for the next girl to make her entrance.
A few chuckles is heard from beyond the workroom entrance. They are quickly followed by these words in a familiar tone to that of Bounce Artist Legend, Big Frieda:
“I did not come to play with you hoes!”
That iconic quote is heard with an encho -que drumline-esque, Beyonce homecoming-esque music-
With brown chocolate skin, standing at about 6”3 with heels, thicker than a snicker, giving you padded bawdy for the gods, Armani Devereaux appears just before the week room entrance—but she’s standing backwards! The camera slowly pans from bottom to top. Viewers first see that Armani is wearing a sickening matte black boot that is covered by black flared out pants with ruffles at the bottom. Then you see her fists on her hips; at which point you cannot help but to see the distressed denim black jacket that adorns Arman’s shoulders. The light is perfectly catching the giant black and gold bedazzled black power fist that outline takes up the majority of the jacket. Upon closer look, the names of a few influence black women and queer icons are written in white painted in a graffiti style. The initials AD (Armani Devereaux) can be seen in the lower right panel of the jacket.
As the camera reaches the top, Armani is seen in a beautiful textured black and brown afro.
After a moment, Armani begins to march backwards to the camera, when suddenly, she swiftly flips her arms up and over which causes the jacket to fall to the side. Armani then flips her hair and spins all in one moment. The hair flip reveals a black box braid set with gold braid clamps throughout that goes all the way down to Armani’s ass-topped with a beautiful black beret. Viewers can now see Armani’s full outfit as she faces the camera: a beautiful simple and polished black long sleeve jumpsuit with mesh paneling and a gold metal belt. She is wearing a strong black lip with intricate liner and light Smokey eyeshadow.
Armani does her final pose and says:
“The blacker the berry, the bigger the GAG.”
Spotlights installed into the floor glitch as the queen's powerful stride sets the bulbs into a blazing distortion, a demanding final pose declaring her first impression complete as she stands before the camera.
[ARMANI DEVEREAUX]: My drag name is Armani Devereaux, I’m 24 years oldand I am from New Orleans, Louisiana. I think this would be an amazing way to express myself and dip my toe into drag, so to speak. We’ve all had those “I would’ve done this if I was on drag race” and, well, here’s my chance.I’ve contemplated trying drag out in real life but because of personal circumstances, I am unable to at this time. I think this would be an amazing outlet to be really creative, have a lot of fun, and meet a whole bunch of queens with whom I share a lot in common with. My drag in three words would be black, contemplative, and entertaining. I think I would be perceived as a hero this season. I’m not looking to screw anyone over to get to the crown, but however, I have hands and they work 24/7. First and foremost I am going to bring commitment to this season. I am going to really push myself to be as creative, funny and entertaining as possible. You’re going to get a strong perspective and character from me as well. Armani is going to bring that sweet Louisiana banter with some ratchet NOLA 504 flavor. I will be able to not only command attention in the room, but will be able to be relatable and vulnerable as well. I plan to put my best foot forward to not only make this an enjoyable experience for myself but for everyone else involved and especially the viewers. My final words? “Well Armani, why are YOU Reddit’s Next Fake Drag Superstar?”. I am Reddit’s Next Fake Drag Superstar because I pay my fucking taxes.
“Damn, she’s stunning.”
Peaches mouth gapes, amongst other things, as she watches Armani enter the room. It was probably unlike her, and the others, to be so fond of complimenting other queens so instantaneously, but when sitting with your balls tucked in what seems to be a real-life Gossip Girl game that’s been coded with insane queens, and an even crazier king, your first thought probably isn’t to shade another.
“Thanks! You’re all looking great yourself. I can’t see a flaw in any of you.”
“Don’t worry, you didn’t see how short May and Venetia’s entrances were.”
Rose responds, siren bells ringing as steam exudes from their ears.
“Such a bitch.”
Both of them respond, in synchrony. The shade is finally setting in, ironically whilst the sun almost completely set in the skyline view from the windows. Such shade was soon to be diffused, another star to be tossed into the workroom, already waiting behind the sliding doors.
Val sucked in a breath as she stood behind the opening elevator doors, hearing a few of the kings and queens chatting from a distance. She looked down at her outfit, which one of the trapeze artists had helped Val sew before leaving for the competition. Though Val knew it was probably more simple than what the other competitors had on, Val couldn’t help but love it: it was a white leotard with a collar on her neck that revealed a little black bow tie. Draped over her shoulders was a long red overcoat, with gold lettering on the back spelling her drag name, the waistline adorned with gold fastenings that could keep her waist cinched, despite them being undone for now. Underneath the coat and over the leotard was a pair of black pinup shorts, stretchy enough to accommodate for her planned entrance. On her feet was a pair of sleek black stilettos, and pinned on top of her short curly black wig was a mini black top hat.
Letting out the breath, Val entered the workroom, paying no mind to anyone else in that room. Instead, she threw the overcoat off her shoulders, and got into position. In one swift fluid motion, she lunged forward with her right leg and raised her arms, then lowered them while raising her back leg. Turning her body sideways, she placed her hands on the floor, and pushed off on her front leg, bringing her legs up in the air. Finally, she landed on her feet, finishing the cartwheel by bringing her hands to her waist and grinning.
Glancing at the other contestants, Val saw them staring at her. Whether it was because of the cartwheel, the innumerable tattoos adoring Val’s arms and legs, or even the fact that she still hadn’t said anything. Laughing sheepishly, Val shrugged her shoulders.
“Yeah,” Val said, “I didn’t have an entrance line prepared.”
A circus ring of fire spawns around the queen as she strikes her final pose, diffusing a prosperity of multi-coloured sparks that would flutter and progressively fade. The CGI effect dissipates as she turns to the voices of the other contestants -
“Producers, you know the clown music you probably played for Frankie? Play that again here.”
May exclaims, the camera panning over and zooming onto her baffled - yet intrigued - expression.
[VAL KYRIE]: My name is Val Kyrie, I’m 24 and from Austin, Texas! After ten years of being in the circus, I want to establish a name and brand outside of it. My drag in three words would be clownish, vaudeville and showgirl. Honestly, Val is a ‘love-it-or-hate-it’ kind of girl: you’ll either think she’s enthusiastic and charming, or a show-off with her circus experience being a gimmick. It’ll just depend on the kind of person you are. I’m going to bring a unique choreography due to being from the circus, and an excitable and enthusiastic attitude towards most challenges. Any final words? Here’s a character description then: Val’s a drag queen who’s based in the circus. After living with a homophobic foster family, she ran away from them to join the circus (who were passing by in her town at the time) and has been with them ever since. She’s primarily a trapeze artist and contortionist, so her specialty is anything physical. She also knows how to make clothes, but her looks can come across as simple and costume-like. Due to being young, she has some maturing to do, but she’s very excited to branch out from the circus, despite loving her work with them.
“Hey all!”
Circus queen Val crosses through the workstations and heads to the others, slightly more timid in demeanour than her entrance. She may have been used to the circus life, but a room full of clowns from otherwise drag backgrounds - probably not her natural habitat.
“That little performance you just did coming into the room? Sickening.”
Armani, being the first queen she’d reach, compliments her entrance. The others agree and commemorate her the same, although probably worrying about going against her in lip syncs. Which isn't happening this season.
“Thanks, years of practice. Probably like that beat of yours.”
The pair chuckle as they admire each other. Miss Big Frieda and Britney from the circus over here living for each other.
“Alright guys, leave the brown-nosing for afterdark.”
Venetia puts the scissor sisters to a halt, pointing out the elevator rings, to which the lens cuts back to. The doors warp in technicolour before the opening and bursting with rainbow lights, a silhouette stepping out from the midst. Gay jesus?
The lights in the werkroom doors flashed once in a bright white light. BAM ! in walks Euphoria Adams. The dotted stage lights surrounding her in the door frame lit up her corset covered in Swarovski Crystal and shattered disco ball. The other queens stare as she leans on the elevator frame with one arm up. She looks up and down to the other queens and winks. She struts to the middle of the room and rips off her skirt revealing the corset is a bodysuit with the same crystal details. She pulls a pin out of her hair and lets her blonde braids fall.
“Euphoria; a state of intense happiness and self confidence.”
[EUPHORIA]: My drag name is Euphoria Adams. I’m from a little town in Ireland, and I’m 17. I used to compete in lots of competitions like this on Instagram and I did very well, now I wanna compete here. My drag style is seductive, creative and inventive. If I like you I’ll be a hero, and if I don’t like you then you’ll know about it. This season I want to bring CUNT. And if I can’t bring that, then I’ll just be one. Good luck to myself and good riddance to everyone else.
“Damn, didn’t know I’d ever get to meet Zendaya.”
Rose looks over the shoulders of the groaning queens stunned by the blast of light, getting the first look at the queen. Euphoria waves to the recovering crowd, heading over to greet Rose first as she’d be the closest. Her hand bumps into a stack of cocktail glasses as she steps back, grabbing onto the mini-bar for balance.
“I must be late to the party.”
“Not that late, there’s still some more to come by the looks of it.”
“More?”
Euphoria’s face reads disbelief as Venetia suggests more contestants, looking minute in comparison to the cesspool of queens and the king. Floor 64 was going to be filled by the end of the entrances, which due to the reddit post character count limit technical difficulties, must be put into another episode part. So for now, enjoy a good coronavirus cough. Or stay listening to the tune of ‘Love Come Down’, a disco beat playing as the scene fades on the current cast.
Welcome to the first few contestants! This is not split premiere - the episode was much more detailed, and in my opinion, more well written until I was reminded of the 40k character limit. All contestants not featured in this part will be featured in the following second one.
These entrances have been great fun to read and are honestly sickening. Good job guys!
Didn’t get some references? This might help...
  • Smacahoe - winner of Reddit Dragula 2, panel judge for this season.
  • Flashback Mary - Reddit Dragula 4 alumni, jokes mentioning her being a part of Smacahoe’s drag family.
  • Fantasia - the Reddit Dragula host, although this persona will evidently not be used to host this competition. The mention of the new host persona not being given a ‘number name’ is because all persona’s created as part of this drag family all end with a number, e.g. Fantasia Four, Anastasia Five.
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2020.03.31 22:11 bbukrpdr 🦠🏁 Fake Drag Race - S1E1: "Corona-She-Betta-Don't" [PART ONE]

A swedish beauty; unconventionally black hair and glistening pools of honey for eyes, puddles of maple swirling around the pupil and shining as to have been struck by the purest ray of sunlight. Her eyes framed with bold and brazen eyebrows which, in full bloom, would not fray from being thick. This stark, charcoal feature was contrasted by the healthy sheen to her smooth honey-sickle skin, glazing over her plump lips which had been pressed against the bud of a rose; a quaint pink pigment complimenting her slight, blushing undertones.
Nestled in her cupid bow was a beauty mark, soon to be hidden by the placement of an AB crystal that illuminated her face in a kaleidoscope of colours from the refraction of light. A show of Northern Lights subsequently danced on her canvas, contorting as she angled her face in a mirror into a variety of poses.
It was only when the focus shifted in the mirror from the spectacle of beauty to the reflection that the realization that she was in no boudoir; nor an inside setting occured. A concrete jungle of skyscrapers towered like goliath in the distance, the approaching cars miniscule in comparison. Natural, diegetic sounds faded in; the classic harmony of crowds, cars beeping - and people beeping with cusses - during rush hour. The orchestra of New York, or more specifically, Manhattan.
SOME RANDOM ROAD MANHATTAN
The cusses were actually from a man parked behind the queen, who herself sat in an unexpected vehicle; a mahusive, dingey truck which had been stained from time and many journeys through polluted streets. A perfume of must and damp, a node of oil-leakage somewhere and a slight trace of retired Victoria Secret perfume.
“If I turned around and called him a cuck I’d be called a tranny-” she twists the radio’s volume dial to block out the sound of ignorance, seemingly looking down at what was thought to be an empty guest chair “- I should just send you to sort him out, huh.”
Her downward gaze drew focus to a petite, auburn pomeranian, twisting her head at her owner as if to be serving Stephen Hawkings in a face category. The dog’s paw scratches at a lone watch in the mid-section between the two chairs, yapping in excitement.
“Oh shit, it’s time. I almost forgot. Good baby.”
The camera traces her hand down to the glove compartment, pulling out a veil of rhinestone netting and pulling it over her head. An empty gap was left open for her lips to be squeezed through, two holes cut for her eyes also, albeit not too much use as she opted for a pair of opaque black cat eye sunglasses instead that she’d left on the floor.
A final action-match shot showed the puppy's paw pushing forward the gear and the ‘womans’ hand twisting the radio volume dial up more; an appropriate song beginning to play as she gripped onto the wheel. Her boot slammed down onto the reverse pedal, crushing the cussing man’s car behind her before turning right into the road - currently ‘empty’ with the virus outbreak chaos.
“Telling Fantasia that Smacahoe had coronavirus didn’t work-” she looks up to red lights, continuing to race past anyway “- but the second I told her Starry had it, she left straight from work. If my triangulation of fast food restaurants is right, this fatty should be on the next road…”
The last leg of the race. The upcoming, right-turn avenue would be her final destination, the queen speeding and swerving down into the lane and slamming on the acceleration. A rhinestoned sports car is seen pulling out, but unaware of the oncomi-
She slams the truck straight into the sports car, sending that bitch flying like Quinn and whipping it straight into a pole near Grand Central Park. Fantasia, who had been driving the car, was yeeted out of the shattered front window and bounced across the road onto the path. People walked past the helpless queen with fear that touching her would infect with them gay, and corona, virus; her body surrounded by a cesspool of pink rhinestones and glass shards which scattered a rainbow veil on the concrete around her.
Her crippled body twitched, her eyelash still as wonky as before, staring off into the gates of the park and awaiting for help. It was not too long she had to wait, a click-clack of heels heard strutting over, Naomi Campbell was here to save he-
“It’s my time to shine now, mother.”
The black-heels, now in-frame of the shot, twisted in the rubble as to conjure a plume of rhinestone dust to enhance her arrival, with evidently no motion to help the queen up. A gloved hand lowers to pat the queens back, a cold, everlasting touch.
“You never even gave me a number name, you spent more time facilitating obesity on Reddit Dragula than you did ever care for me.”
She’s not wrong. Still doesn’t mean it’s ok. Neither is leaving her mother crippled on the floor, but who doesn't love a good mother-daughter rivalry. The camera switched to an above angle as the heels left the shot, the pool of fragmented car parts spelling out: Fake Drag Race, Fantasia’s now-risen surrender flag showing an imprint of checkerboard fabric billowed in the wind, the title sequence glitching and contorting.
Time for a new age. And a new pair of legs.
The conundrum of static colour, manifested from the prior glitching and subsequent pixelation, gradually began to diffuse. Silhouettes of variant, purple, white, black and blue colour could be seen as each pixel slowly restored back to normal; such shapes revealed to be mannequins, wigs, spotlights - everything drag.
The room was vast, as if it were a Manhattan penthouse from the upper-east side, renovated to be an open plan space albeit the notes of luxury left with the stylistic choices. A double-vaulted ceiling, towering exposed brick walls that had been painted stark white or black to compliment the contrast against otherwise bright, neon lighting.
In one way, it was a boudoir room on steroids; a lineage of marble-varnished mirrors lined against the furthest wall besides a glass surface-top and alternating colour stalls beneath. Stacks and pyramids of make-up cases provided by Jaclyn Hill beauty placed like jenga puzzle pieces on a platinum-pole luggage cart which had been emblazoned with intermittent crystals, not too distant from clothing racks neatly tucked away in the adjacent wall.
The floor was too marble in the make-up area, the space occupied by a pair of giant, velvet lips which also acted as a sofa and a giant lipstick (for your pleasure) reminiscent of the season’s promotional work. An arrangement of marble-slate top workstations orbited the center of the room, each topped with a sewing machine and seamstress tools hanging from nails on either side.
Fabric for the sewing machines could be found up the stairs on the nearest wall, traced by a gallery of empty frames which were filled with paintings of the competitions inspirations: Tiffany, a profile of Christian Sirriano’s rat looking ass besides a collage of his work, the series concluding with a family portrait of Smacahoe and her sister Flashback Mary.
Actually up these stairs was the open fabric room, each wall lined with bolts of both rich and questionably tacky fabrics for the queens to use, as well as an artillery of stolen jewelry to accessorise their runways.
This was the competition's work room, on Floor 64.
FLOOR 64 WEEK ONE
Oh, and there’s also a mini-bar for the alcoholics on the one side.
“Let’s destroy them!”
The unexpected voice of Rebecca More and Sophie Anderson echoes around the boudoir room, coming from the entrance; or for that matter, the ring of the elevator. Stylised to be exquisitely ‘old-fashioned’ but renovated with a cohesive platinum twist, the restored number dial rising with a recognisable flicker of gold luminescence. Rumour has it, you enter on the bottom floor in rags, and step out on floor 64 with the riches, a star. It’s your choice whether you believe it or not, but these contestants would soon test this as to be real, or a old-wives tale.
Speaking of contestants, if the floor-integrated spotlights flickering blue-white dramatically was anything of a sign, we were to expect our first fake queen or king to enter. Each click of the elevator rising reminisced in the room, the echo fading and making way for a sound of churning electrical current.
The lights dim with a spotlight near the workroom entrance, and a queen walks in. She is tall but slim, with legs that could only be rivaled by Naomi Smalls. She walks in wearing a simple black cocktail dress, carrying a simple black purse. The top of the dress is flooded with sequins, and the bottom is made of tulle, with rhinestones scattered here and there. She is wearing black heels, which have also been bedazzled with more rhinestones. She is sporting her natural golden blonde hair in an updo, with a fascinator that matches her dress. She walks into the workroom and says -
"Oh, don't mind me; I shouldn't be long. I'm just here for my crown and 100 grand, then I'll be on my way."
May, the first queen, declares to an empty room. Crickets could quite literally be heard, but a chorus of applause was played through speakers via producer interference to save for the awkwardness. She turned from staring blankly - into blank spaces about the room, to smiling back at the camera.
[MAY I. HAVANOTHER]: My name is May I. Havanaother, I’m 21 and from Denver, CO! I signed up for this as it seemed like an interesting experience, and I thought it would be fun to try it out. My drag style in 3 words would be polished, elegant and comedic, and I would definitely see myself as a hero this season, maybe even this season’s Miss Congeniality. If I don’t win, that is. I plan to bring my friendly self, along with some amazing runway looks. I will admit that I’m not as experienced in the drag world, but who says you need to be experienced to do well in this season? Be warned, fellow competitors.
“First one in? Hopefully not the first one out.”
She takes a curious step over to the nearest workstation, her eyes taking bewildered glances around the werkroom. That is until she spotted the mini-bar, wandering on over and preparing a martini as she waited for the next queen. Not for the next contestant, but herself.
“I don’t even like martini’s but anything to look more glamoro-”
Oh shit, onto the next one!
May drops the glass and spills it’s contents on her dress.
“That fucking elevator bell.”
Elegant music can be heard as Rose Schwartz enters the werkroom. The sound of her stomping her heels takes over the entire room. She is a vision in red. From her red finger wave wig, to her gorgeous, tailored red suit, down to her 6 inch red pumps. She is accessorised with long, red nails, a red necklace with matching red rings, and two small earrings shaped like the letters "R" and "S" (also, red). Her makeup is a beautiful red mug, with plump red lips and a glistening red eyeshadow. In her left hand is a wine glass, taller than any wine glass that's ever been seen on television. The glass is full of a red liquid, mirroring the color of Rose's look (did I mention it was red?). Rose stops and poses, lifting the wine glass up into the air, and putting her right hand on her waist.
"L'chaim!"
- she says in a sexy tone, with a seductive smile on her face. She then proceeds to drink the entire glass in a single sip, and gently drops it to the floor. She sighs in satisfaction, and then she......BURPS?!!! The elegant music stops abruptly and a rattlesnake sound effect is played. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Rose puts her hand on her mouth and giggles.
"My bad," she says. "Also, don't worry that was just cranberry juice".
A revival of an instrumental house-music beat plays as the queen enters the workroom, taking her time to pose in the camera like a clapped covergirl model.
[ROSE SCHWARTZ]: Hi everyone! My name is Rose Schwartz, I'm on the edge of seventeen and I'm from the faraway land of Israel! I signed up for FDR, because...well... I don't really have anything better to do! But also, I LOVE competitions, & I wanna show the world what I'm capable of, and have some fun doing it! In 3 words, I would describe my drag as A.S.S: Authentic Silly & Stunning But don't be expecting to see any a/s/s from me, because your girl is skinny as hell and I can't leave the house to buy me some butt pads! What I'm gonna bring to this season is a lot of creativity, a lot of humour, a lot of interesting lerks, and definitely some shade! So I hope I won't end up as the villain (but if I do, c'est la vie... the other girls probably had it coming). Any final words? I wanna wish the other contestants good luck, and I hope that they stay healthy and safe, cause that's exactly what they're gonna be in this competition...
A scrunched, stained napkin comes from the right-side of the frame, landing beside the voguing queen's foot and halting her to a stop. She stares down at the conspicuous napkin whilst frozen with hands still framed around her face and her back still bent back -
“Damn, someone’s already here?”
- she leans back forward, kicking the napkin to the side as she heads the direction it came from.
“Hi!” Rose spots May beside the bar, heading for a hug before- “You’re… wet?”
“Sophie Anderson, martini, kind of a long story haha.”
The queen tips her glass upside down, realising not one drip had remained of her cock destroyed drink that she’d been pretending to sip as Rose walked over. She sighs, pulling Rose into a wet, slimy hug; giving up her failed attempt of appearing like a mid-menopausal Gossip Girl mom and embracing her namesake as clown.
“Hopefully they’ll bring in another queen who’s an actual clown so I can still look half decent.”
Give them what they want, motha. Only that this time, the steel womb of the elevator was coughing up something more… manly.
The werkroom stills, waiting for the next competitor to walk in. The queens already inside hear a loud clonking sound - clonk, clonk, clonk. Soon after, they see its source - Frankie M. Cyanide stomps in, wearing their signature glitter platform pimp shoes - some of the sparkles have been rubbed off from overwear, but they're still bright enough to distract the casual viewer from realizing. Frankie's legs are tightly confined in a pair of pleather biker pants, showing off an impressive bulge and feminine hips. Their torso is cinched for the gods in a black corset emblazoned with rhinestones, covered with a chic biker jacket covered in pins that they'd picked up from DragCons past. They've drawn on some impressive cleavage.
Frankie's hair is styled in their signature curly brown pompadour, gelled to perfection like a greaser, or perhaps like that one character in that JoJo's Bizarre Adventure anime that Frankie's never actually seen. Their sideburns are gelled down into their cheek contour halfway to their stately nose, framing their face and eyes. They've done their lids in turquoise and hot pink with dramatic white and black liner, their lips are a deep red, and their brows are sharp and thick.
Frankie cocks their head to the side -
"Gender? I hardly knew 'er!"
[FRANKIE M. CYANIDE]: My name's Frankie M. Cyanide! What's the M stand for? Good question. Usually it just stands for "Mmmehhhh...?" I mostly perform out of Connecticut and I'm working on taking over, as Doofenshmirtz would say, the entire tri-state area. Where I'm from is of no importance (but it's New York and I will defend it to the death). For years, I was always the youngest person in all my social groups... then I got into drag, and apparently to many at 27 I'm considered middle-aged now. Just like everyone else, I'm bored and want something to do while quarantined... Also, since I perform in the real world too, this'll give me inspiration for future looks if the apocalypse ever ends! My drag style in 3 words would be cheesy, ridiculous, dramatic. "Hero", "Villain"... These words mean so little in today's day and age, no? But idk I'd say I probably average out to Chaotic Good. I’m going to bring stupid fun and sideburns! Some of history's greatest artists did their best work while quarantined for plagues. ...Of course, many more probably died during that time so that shouldn't really inspire you much.
As with the previous entrance, the house music returned to play in synchrony with this king’s appearance, only that it was now remixed with clown honks in a cartoonish beat. Perfect for Frankie’s apparent silliness and enthusiastic, comical expressions. You’d hire him as a clown, but I don’t think you’d trust him at the kids parties; his first motion being a wank gesture at the two ladies.
“I don’t know whether to spread my legs and squeeze my prolapse like it’s a clown nose or use the sweat off my taint to slip him up.”
May turns to Rose, grabbing her legs and enclosing them having noticed them start to gradually open.
“Hey guys!”
Frankie winks at the pair with a charm and sparkle, side-stepping and sliding over to them. He spins on his toes for them to get another full, 360 look at his entrance look before taking a second to hug and observe the competition himself.
“You’re god damn chaotic but I love every second of it.”
[ROSE SCHWARTZ]: We’re 3 people into the season and this cast is already looking stacked. That king is one hell of a personality and May has the same congenial, yet clumsy presence of Big Momma.
All aboard, and all eyes to the elevator. Chaos and excitement settles as their enthusiasm is drawn back to the arrival of a new contestant. The metal doors capture the momentary reflection of the adjacent double-vaulted windows of the Manhattan sky, before ripping apart and showing the only star left to be seen in frame.
As the fellow contestants wait, the sound of heels from the elevator come into ear, and Venetia comes into frame. She’s wearing pants in a shimmery dark green with a somewhat exaggerated geometric hip starting at the waist and tapering above the ankle. She has on a stoned and sparkly tube top and and an off the shoulder jacket in a matching green as the pants. She is wearing minimal jewelry, stud earrings and a false nose ring, along with a simple silver pump to match the jewelry and top. For the makeup, she’s going with a simple base that matches her olive complexion with green tones for shadow and a nude lip color. She’s wearing a side parted black wig that has that “fresh out of the shower” look. After a couple steps into the “werkroom” she says-
“Watch out everyone, Venetia is in the building!”
“Watch out y’all, she’s warning us of that stank must she’s brought into the room.”
[VENETIA]: I’m Venetia, a 23 year old queen from Chicago! I'm signing up for FDR because I want a creative outlet to bring the fabulous drag queen in my mind to life, as that’s not something I can do in my current situation. I’m a triple F, Funny, Fierce, and Fashion and I think I’ll straddle the hero/villain like I tend to be a nice queen but I won’t hesitate to give my opinion when I feel it’s necessary. I’m also going to bring an energy that this show needs. I’d say that I’m a queen who’s young and has fresh ideas, but also has a strong sense of polish and “she knows what she’s doing” as opposed to some young queens who don’t. My final words would be how fun I think being cast would be, to meet new friends and be a part of something! Thank you for your consideration!
Frankie glares at the queens sparkles as if to be a magpie, chirping in excitement to see someone as equally glittery and bright. The sunlight of sunset pouring into the renovated penthouse makes a spectacle of Venetia, as she takes a longer pause to pose for the camera. She’s sidetracked by the actual spectacle of the luxurious room around her, then drawn to the sound of wolf-whistling competitors.
A mischievous smile dawns her face as she blushes from the appraisal, shimmying and gesturing to herself, taking in every last compliment.
“Damn guys, it’s not charity work-” Venetia steps over and greets each individually “- you can stop making me flustered now. I already look like I’ve been clapped between two thighs.”
“I’ll clap you with my thighs…”
May smirks, breaking out into laughter as she invites the queen to sit next to her with the tap on a vacant stool.
[MAY I. HAVANOTHER]: No seriously, I’d clap her between my thighs. Maybe she’ll pass out and we can continue with one less stunner.
One less stunner? How about one more? The voice of Kylie Jenner is the next to be screamed by the elevator -
Is that a little pig?
- even though we’re expecting this incoming wolf to blow the other piggies houses down.
“Venetia-” Frankie pats her leg concerningly “- she’s speaking about you.”
“Bitch.”
With one elegant turn on her heel, Peach comes round the entrance corner. She's completely stoic in the face, stone-eyed, gentle pout, tall and slim. She pauses, hands-on-hips, and then poses. A beat. In glittering silver heels that look deathly to walk in, she struts into the werkroom as if it's her runway. She's wearing a complete Vivienne Westwood inspired look; a white sheer lace dress that stretches from the top of her neck (where it frills) down to her ankles (where it parts to create a slight train behind her heels), the sleeves are long, and ridiculously ruched at the top as if two magical transparent clouds are on either shoulder. Atop the dress is a white silk corset which cinches the body incredibly tight, and cups the shape of her pecs which are visible beneath the lace of the torso area in the dress. The defining accessories are a brown leather belt with sword attached (in a brown leather case). They match in colour exactly, as with the brown of her long straight middle-parted wig which slinks down her chest. Her mug is earth and neutral tones, hollowed out dark-contoured cheeks with a brown gradient eye shadow and glossy nude lips and completely browless. Her eyes are a grey colour, matching the silver jewels on her ears.
When she reaches her mark, she takes the sword out its clasp and - without so much as flinching in the face - licks it.
"Tasty."
[PEACHES] [PEACH]: My name is Peach just like the Princess, the fruit, and the Timothée Chalamet sex toy! I’m originally from London, England but currently I’m a small Peach in a Big Apple (that’s a New York City reference). I’m 21 years old and I signed up for FDR because I’m a writer, I love drag, and I’ve always dreamed of being a drag queen but sadly lack the talent and money in real life! My drag in three words would be… new age witch. I’d be a villain, because I’m a cunt. I’m going to bring a dynamic blend of fashion, art, and magic, with an incredible lack of decorum. I’m just what drag race has been looking for: another skinny white queen!
Did she just reference Timothee Chalamet? That’s just about white. The ominous presence this villain-esque queen demanded may have been the first chill to breeze into the room, although her happy, wide-spread grin when first seeing and meeting the others grants a welcome warmth that says otherwise.
[PEACH]: Don’t be fooled. I was happy at that moment. Remember that beautiful grin as it’s the only time you’ll see it, other than when I’m winning challenges.
“You so bad-”
Venetia sings to her, Peach looking like a paralytic being able to twitch for the first time as she attempts to twerk on her way over to the group.
“- and baby I want you so bad, yeah.”
To which Frankie and May finish the lyrics, greeting the queen with a symphony which satisfied her villainous ego and presence. She said she was a cunt, so let’s hope she doesn’t swallow these queens whole.
“Nice to meet you all-” She greets the others, holding her hand out to Frankie who kisses the back of it “- especially you.”
“Did it taste like cold stone?”
Venetia turns to Frankie and asks after his slobber remains imprinted on Peach’s hand -
“Nope, just like a shop bought peach… filled with another familiar taste.”
- shrugging at his response and squinting in an attempt to think of what that ‘other taste’ would be. Although merely a joke; the self-proclaimed vemenous queen actually proactively made sure to say hello to each, the lens focus shifted from a constipated looking, confused Venetia to the hugging in the background. Her spit may be acid but there must be some good juju in this tapped water, keeping everyone congenial, albeit likely due to their mutual excitement.
That excitement however is not enough excitement, we need more, and subsequently more contestants. The elevator pings, ovulation had been completed - now it was time for discharge.
About 5 or 6 girls have already made their way into the workroom. Everyone is being cordial and friendly—but it’s now time for the next girl to make her entrance.
A few chuckles is heard from beyond the workroom entrance. They are quickly followed by these words in a familiar tone to that of Bounce Artist Legend, Big Frieda:
“I did not come to play with you hoes!”
That iconic quote is heard with an encho -que drumline-esque, Beyonce homecoming-esque music-
With brown chocolate skin, standing at about 6”3 with heels, thicker than a snicker, giving you padded bawdy for the gods, Armani Devereaux appears just before the week room entrance—but she’s standing backwards! The camera slowly pans from bottom to top. Viewers first see that Armani is wearing a sickening matte black boot that is covered by black flared out pants with ruffles at the bottom. Then you see her fists on her hips; at which point you cannot help but to see the distressed denim black jacket that adorns Arman’s shoulders. The light is perfectly catching the giant black and gold bedazzled black power fist that outline takes up the majority of the jacket. Upon closer look, the names of a few influence black women and queer icons are written in white painted in a graffiti style. The initials AD (Armani Devereaux) can be seen in the lower right panel of the jacket.
As the camera reaches the top, Armani is seen in a beautiful textured black and brown afro.
After a moment, Armani begins to march backwards to the camera, when suddenly, she swiftly flips her arms up and over which causes the jacket to fall to the side. Armani then flips her hair and spins all in one moment. The hair flip reveals a black box braid set with gold braid clamps throughout that goes all the way down to Armani’s ass-topped with a beautiful black beret. Viewers can now see Armani’s full outfit as she faces the camera: a beautiful simple and polished black long sleeve jumpsuit with mesh paneling and a gold metal belt. She is wearing a strong black lip with intricate liner and light Smokey eyeshadow.
Armani does her final pose and says:
“The blacker the berry, the bigger the GAG.”
Spotlights installed into the floor glitch as the queen's powerful stride sets the bulbs into a blazing distortion, a demanding final pose declaring her first impression complete as she stands before the camera.
[ARMANI DEVEREAUX]: My drag name is Armani Devereaux, I’m 24 years oldand I am from New Orleans, Louisiana. I think this would be an amazing way to express myself and dip my toe into drag, so to speak. We’ve all had those “I would’ve done this if I was on drag race” and, well, here’s my chance.I’ve contemplated trying drag out in real life but because of personal circumstances, I am unable to at this time. I think this would be an amazing outlet to be really creative, have a lot of fun, and meet a whole bunch of queens with whom I share a lot in common with. My drag in three words would be black, contemplative, and entertaining. I think I would be perceived as a hero this season. I’m not looking to screw anyone over to get to the crown, but however, I have hands and they work 24/7. First and foremost I am going to bring commitment to this season. I am going to really push myself to be as creative, funny and entertaining as possible. You’re going to get a strong perspective and character from me as well. Armani is going to bring that sweet Louisiana banter with some ratchet NOLA 504 flavor. I will be able to not only command attention in the room, but will be able to be relatable and vulnerable as well. I plan to put my best foot forward to not only make this an enjoyable experience for myself but for everyone else involved and especially the viewers. My final words? “Well Armani, why are YOU Reddit’s Next Fake Drag Superstar?”. I am Reddit’s Next Fake Drag Superstar because I pay my fucking taxes.
“Damn, she’s stunning.”
Peaches mouth gapes, amongst other things, as she watches Armani enter the room. It was probably unlike her, and the others, to be so fond of complimenting other queens so instantaneously, but when sitting with your balls tucked in what seems to be a real-life Gossip Girl game that’s been coded with insane queens, and an even crazier king, your first thought probably isn’t to shade another.
“Thanks! You’re all looking great yourself. I can’t see a flaw in any of you.”
“Don’t worry, you didn’t see how short May and Venetia’s entrances were.”
Rose responds, siren bells ringing as steam exudes from their ears.
“Such a bitch.”
Both of them respond, in synchrony. The shade is finally setting in, ironically whilst the sun almost completely set in the skyline view from the windows. Such shade was soon to be diffused, another star to be tossed into the workroom, already waiting behind the sliding doors.
Val sucked in a breath as she stood behind the opening elevator doors, hearing a few of the kings and queens chatting from a distance. She looked down at her outfit, which one of the trapeze artists had helped Val sew before leaving for the competition. Though Val knew it was probably more simple than what the other competitors had on, Val couldn’t help but love it: it was a white leotard with a collar on her neck that revealed a little black bow tie. Draped over her shoulders was a long red overcoat, with gold lettering on the back spelling her drag name, the waistline adorned with gold fastenings that could keep her waist cinched, despite them being undone for now. Underneath the coat and over the leotard was a pair of black pinup shorts, stretchy enough to accommodate for her planned entrance. On her feet was a pair of sleek black stilettos, and pinned on top of her short curly black wig was a mini black top hat.
Letting out the breath, Val entered the workroom, paying no mind to anyone else in that room. Instead, she threw the overcoat off her shoulders, and got into position. In one swift fluid motion, she lunged forward with her right leg and raised her arms, then lowered them while raising her back leg. Turning her body sideways, she placed her hands on the floor, and pushed off on her front leg, bringing her legs up in the air. Finally, she landed on her feet, finishing the cartwheel by bringing her hands to her waist and grinning.
Glancing at the other contestants, Val saw them staring at her. Whether it was because of the cartwheel, the innumerable tattoos adoring Val’s arms and legs, or even the fact that she still hadn’t said anything. Laughing sheepishly, Val shrugged her shoulders.
“Yeah,” Val said, “I didn’t have an entrance line prepared.”
A circus ring of fire spawns around the queen as she strikes her final pose, diffusing a prosperity of multi-coloured sparks that would flutter and progressively fade. The CGI effect dissipates as she turns to the voices of the other contestants -
“Producers, you know the clown music you probably played for Frankie? Play that again here.”
May exclaims, the camera panning over and zooming onto her baffled - yet intrigued - expression.
[VAL KYRIE]: My name is Val Kyrie, I’m 24 and from Austin, Texas! After ten years of being in the circus, I want to establish a name and brand outside of it. My drag in three words would be clownish, vaudeville and showgirl. Honestly, Val is a ‘love-it-or-hate-it’ kind of girl: you’ll either think she’s enthusiastic and charming, or a show-off with her circus experience being a gimmick. It’ll just depend on the kind of person you are. I’m going to bring a unique choreography due to being from the circus, and an excitable and enthusiastic attitude towards most challenges. Any final words? Here’s a character description then: Val’s a drag queen who’s based in the circus. After living with a homophobic foster family, she ran away from them to join the circus (who were passing by in her town at the time) and has been with them ever since. She’s primarily a trapeze artist and contortionist, so her specialty is anything physical. She also knows how to make clothes, but her looks can come across as simple and costume-like. Due to being young, she has some maturing to do, but she’s very excited to branch out from the circus, despite loving her work with them.
“Hey all!”
Circus queen Val crosses through the workstations and heads to the others, slightly more timid in demeanour than her entrance. She may have been used to the circus life, but a room full of clowns from otherwise drag backgrounds - probably not her natural habitat.
“That little performance you just did coming into the room? Sickening.”
Armani, being the first queen she’d reach, compliments her entrance. The others agree and commemorate her the same, although probably worrying about going against her in lip syncs. Which isn't happening this season.
“Thanks, years of practice. Probably like that beat of yours.”
The pair chuckle as they admire each other. Miss Big Frieda and Britney from the circus over here living for each other.
“Alright guys, leave the brown-nosing for afterdark.”
Venetia puts the scissor sisters to a halt, pointing out the elevator rings, to which the lens cuts back to. The doors warp in technicolour before the opening and bursting with rainbow lights, a silhouette stepping out from the midst. Gay jesus?
The lights in the werkroom doors flashed once in a bright white light. BAM ! in walks Euphoria Adams. The dotted stage lights surrounding her in the door frame lit up her corset covered in Swarovski Crystal and shattered disco ball. The other queens stare as she leans on the elevator frame with one arm up. She looks up and down to the other queens and winks. She struts to the middle of the room and rips off her skirt revealing the corset is a bodysuit with the same crystal details. She pulls a pin out of her hair and lets her blonde braids fall.
“Euphoria; a state of intense happiness and self confidence.”
[EUPHORIA]: My drag name is Euphoria Adams. I’m from a little town in Ireland, and I’m 17. I used to compete in lots of competitions like this on Instagram and I did very well, now I wanna compete here. My drag style is seductive, creative and inventive. If I like you I’ll be a hero, and if I don’t like you then you’ll know about it. This season I want to bring CUNT. And if I can’t bring that, then I’ll just be one. Good luck to myself and good riddance to everyone else.
“Damn, didn’t know I’d ever get to meet Zendaya.”
Rose looks over the shoulders of the groaning queens stunned by the blast of light, getting the first look at the queen. Euphoria waves to the recovering crowd, heading over to greet Rose first as she’d be the closest. Her hand bumps into a stack of cocktail glasses as she steps back, grabbing onto the mini-bar for balance.
“I must be late to the party.”
“Not that late, there’s still some more to come by the looks of it.”
“More?”
Euphoria’s face reads disbelief as Venetia suggests more contestants, looking minute in comparison to the cesspool of queens and the king. Floor 64 was going to be filled by the end of the entrances, which due to the reddit post character count limit technical difficulties, must be put into another episode part. So for now, enjoy a good coronavirus cough. Or stay listening to the tune of ‘Love Come Down’, a disco beat playing as the scene fades on the current cast.
Welcome to the first few contestants! This is not split premiere - the episode was much more detailed, and in my opinion, more well written until I was reminded of the 40k character limit. All contestants not featured in this part will be featured in the following second one.
These entrances have been great fun to read and are honestly sickening. Good job guys!
Didn’t get some references? This might help...
  • Smacahoe - winner of Reddit Dragula 2, panel judge for this season.
  • Flashback Mary - Reddit Dragula 4 alumni, jokes mentioning her being a part of Smacahoe’s drag family.
  • Fantasia - the Reddit Dragula host, although this persona will evidently not be used to host this competition. The mention of the new host persona not being given a ‘number name’ is because all persona’s created as part of this drag family all end with a number, e.g. Fantasia Four, Anastasia Five.
submitted by bbukrpdr to RDragula [link] [comments]


2020.03.31 17:26 aIfonsi test

A swedish beauty; unconventionally black hair and glistening pools of honey for eyes, puddles of maple swirling around the pupil and shining as to have been struck by the purest ray of sunlight. Her eyes framed with bold and brazen eyebrows which, in full bloom, would not fray from being thick. This stark, charcoal feature was contrasted by the healthy sheen to her smooth honey-sickle skin, glazing over her plump lips which had been pressed against the bud of a rose; a quaint pink pigment complimenting her slight, blushing undertones.
Nestled in her cupid bow was a beauty mark, soon to be hidden by the placement of an AB crystal that illuminated her face in a kaleidoscope of colours from the refraction of light. A show of Northern Lights subsequently danced on her canvas, contorting as she angled her face in a mirror into a variety of poses.
It was only when the focus shifted in the mirror from the spectacle of beauty to the reflection that the realization that she was in no boudoir; nor an inside setting occured. A concrete jungle of skyscrapers towered like goliath in the distance, the approaching cars miniscule in comparison. Natural, diegetic sounds faded in; the classic harmony of crowds, cars beeping - and people beeping with cusses - during rush hour. The orchestra of New York, or more specifically, Manhattan.
SOME RANDOM ROAD MANHATTAN
The cusses were actually from a man parked behind the queen, who herself sat in an unexpected vehicle; a mahusive, dingey truck which had been stained from time and many journeys through polluted streets. A perfume of must and damp, a node of oil-leakage somewhere and a slight trace of retired Victoria Secret perfume.
“If I turned around and called him a cuck I’d be called a tranny-” she twists the radio’s volume dial to block out the sound of ignorance, seemingly looking down at what was thought to be an empty guest chair “- I should just send you to sort him out, huh.”
Her downward gaze drew focus to a petite, auburn pomeranian, twisting her head at her owner as if to be serving Stephen Hawkings in a face category. The dog’s paw scratches at a lone watch in the mid-section between the two chairs, yapping in excitement.
“Oh shit, it’s time. I almost forgot. Good baby.”
The camera traces her hand down to the glove compartment, pulling out a veil of rhinestone netting and pulling it over her head. An empty gap was left open for her lips to be squeezed through, two holes cut for her eyes also, albeit not too much use as she opted for a pair of opaque black cat eye sunglasses instead that she’d left on the floor.
A final action-match shot showed the puppy's paw pushing forward the gear and the ‘womans’ hand twisting the radio volume dial up more; an appropriate song beginning to play as she gripped onto the wheel. Her boot slammed down onto the reverse pedal, crushing the cussing man’s car behind her before turning right into the road - currently ‘empty’ with the virus outbreak chaos.
“Telling Fantasia that Smacahoe had coronavirus didn’t work-” she looks up to red lights, continuing to race past anyway “- but the second I told her Starry had it, she left straight from work. If my triangulation of fast food restaurants is right, this fatty should be on the next road…”
The last leg of the race. The upcoming, right-turn avenue would be her final destination, the queen speeding and swerving down into the lane and slamming on the acceleration. A rhinestoned sports car is seen pulling out, but unaware of the oncomi-
She slams the truck straight into the sports car, sending that bitch flying like Quinn and whipping it straight into a pole near Grand Central Park. Fantasia, who had been driving the car, was yeeted out of the shattered front window and bounced across the road onto the path. People walked past the helpless queen with fear that touching her would infect with them gay, and corona, virus; her body surrounded by a cesspool of pink rhinestones and glass shards which scattered a rainbow veil on the concrete around her.
Her crippled body twitched, her eyelash still as wonky as before, staring off into the gates of the park and awaiting for help. It was not too long she had to wait, a click-clack of heels heard strutting over, Naomi Campbell was here to save he-
“It’s my time to shine now, mother.”
The black-heels, now in-frame of the shot, twisted in the rubble as to conjure a plume of rhinestone dust to enhance her arrival, with evidently no motion to help the queen up. A gloved hand lowers to pat the queens back, a cold, everlasting touch.
“You never even gave me a number name, you spent more time facilitating obesity on Reddit Dragula than you did ever care for me.”
She’s not wrong. Still doesn’t mean it’s ok. Neither is leaving her mother crippled on the floor, but who doesn't love a good mother-daughter rivalry. The camera switched to an above angle as the heels left the shot, the pool of fragmented car parts spelling out: Fake Drag Race, Fantasia’s now-risen surrender flag showing an imprint of checkerboard fabric billowed in the wind, the title sequence glitching and contorting.
Time for a new age. And a new pair of legs.
***
The conundrum of static colour, manifested from the prior glitching and subsequent pixelation, gradually began to diffuse. Silhouettes of variant, purple, white, black and blue colour could be seen as each pixel slowly restored back to normal; such shapes revealed to be mannequins, wigs, spotlights - everything drag.
The room was vast, as if it were a Manhattan penthouse from the upper-east side, renovated to be an open plan space albeit the notes of luxury left with the stylistic choices. A double-vaulted ceiling, towering exposed brick walls that had been painted stark white or black to compliment the contrast against otherwise bright, neon lighting.
In one way, it was a boudoir room on steroids; a lineage of marble-varnished mirrors lined against the furthest wall besides a glass surface-top and alternating colour stalls beneath. Stacks and pyramids of make-up cases provided by Jaclyn Hill beauty placed like jenga puzzle pieces on a platinum-pole luggage cart which had been emblazoned with intermittent crystals, not too distant from clothing racks neatly tucked away in the adjacent wall.
The floor was too marble in the make-up area, the space occupied by a pair of giant, velvet lips which also acted as a sofa and a giant lipstick (for your pleasure) reminiscent of the season’s promotional work. An arrangement of marble-slate top workstations orbited the center of the room, each topped with a sewing machine and seamstress tools hanging from nails on either side.
Fabric for the sewing machines could be found up the stairs on the nearest wall, traced by a gallery of empty frames which were filled with paintings of the competitions inspirations: Tiffany, a profile of Christian Sirriano’s rat looking ass besides a collage of his work, the series concluding with a family portrait of Smacahoe and her sister Flashback Mary.
Actually up these stairs was the open fabric room, each wall lined with bolts of both rich and questionably tacky fabrics for the queens to use, as well as an artillery of stolen jewelry to accessorise their runways.
This was the competition's work room, on Floor 64.
FLOOR 64 WEEK ONE
Oh, and there’s also a mini-bar for the alcoholics on the one side.
“Let’s destroy them!”
The unexpected voice of Rebecca More and Sophie Anderson echoes around the boudoir room, coming from the entrance; or for that matter, the ring of the elevator. Stylised to be exquisitely ‘old-fashioned’ but renovated with a cohesive platinum twist, the restored number dial rising with a recognisable flicker of gold luminescence. Rumour has it, you enter on the bottom floor in rags, and step out on floor 64 with the riches, a star. It’s your choice whether you believe it or not, but these contestants would soon test this as to be real, or a old-wives tale.
Speaking of contestants, if the floor-integrated spotlights flickering blue-white dramatically was anything of a sign, we were to expect our first fake queen or king to enter. Each click of the elevator rising reminisced in the room, the echo fading and making way for a sound of churning electrical current.
The lights dim with a spotlight near the workroom entrance, and a queen walks in. She is tall but slim, with legs that could only be rivaled by Naomi Smalls. She walks in wearing a simple black cocktail dress, carrying a simple black purse. The top of the dress is flooded with sequins, and the bottom is made of tulle, with rhinestones scattered here and there. She is wearing black heels, which have also been bedazzled with more rhinestones. She is sporting her natural golden blonde hair in an updo, with a fascinator that matches her dress. She walks into the workroom and says -
"Oh, don't mind me; I shouldn't be long. I'm just here for my crown and 100 grand, then I'll be on my way."
May, the first queen, declares to an empty room. Crickets could quite literally be heard, but a chorus of applause was played through speakers via producer interference to save for the awkwardness. She turned from staring blankly - into blank spaces about the room, to smiling back at the camera.
[MAY I. HAVANOTHER]: My name is May I. Havanaother, I’m 21 and from Denver, CO! I signed up for this as it seemed like an interesting experience, and I thought it would be fun to try it out. My drag style in 3 words would be polished, elegant and comedic, and I would definitely see myself as a hero this season, maybe even this season’s Miss Congeniality. If I don’t win, that is. I plan to bring my friendly self, along with some amazing runway looks. I will admit that I’m not as experienced in the drag world, but who says you need to be experienced to do well in this season? Be warned, fellow competitors.
“First one in? Hopefully not the first one out.”
She takes a curious step over to the nearest workstation, her eyes taking bewildered glances around the werkroom. That is until she spotted the mini-bar, wandering on over and preparing a martini as she waited for the next queen. Not for the next contestant, but herself.
“I don’t even like martini’s but anything to look more glamoro-”
Oh shit, onto the next one!
May drops the glass and spills it’s contents on her dress.
“That fucking elevator bell.”
Elegant music can be heard as Rose Schwartz enters the werkroom. The sound of her stomping her heels takes over the entire room. She is a vision in red. From her red finger wave wig, to her gorgeous, tailored red suit, down to her 6 inch red pumps. She is accessorised with long, red nails, a red necklace with matching red rings, and two small earrings shaped like the letters "R" and "S" (also, red). Her makeup is a beautiful red mug, with plump red lips and a glistening red eyeshadow. In her left hand is a wine glass, taller than any wine glass that's ever been seen on television. The glass is full of a red liquid, mirroring the color of Rose's look (did I mention it was red?). Rose stops and poses, lifting the wine glass up into the air, and putting her right hand on her waist.
"L'chaim!"
- she says in a sexy tone, with a seductive smile on her face. She then proceeds to drink the entire glass in a single sip, and gently drops it to the floor. She sighs in satisfaction, and then she......BURPS?!!! The elegant music stops abruptly and a rattlesnake sound effect is played. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Rose puts her hand on her mouth and giggles.
"My bad," she says. "Also, don't worry that was just cranberry juice".
A revival of an instrumental house-music beat plays as the queen enters the workroom, taking her time to pose in the camera like a clapped covergirl model.
[ROSE SCHWARTZ]: Hi everyone! My name is Rose Schwartz, I'm on the edge of seventeen and I'm from the faraway land of Israel! I signed up for FDR, because...well... I don't really have anything better to do! But also, I LOVE competitions, & I wanna show the world what I'm capable of, and have some fun doing it! In 3 words, I would describe my drag as A.S.S: Authentic Silly & Stunning But don't be expecting to see any a/s/s from me, because your girl is skinny as hell and I can't leave the house to buy me some butt pads! What I'm gonna bring to this season is a lot of creativity, a lot of humour, a lot of interesting lerks, and definitely some shade! So I hope I won't end up as the villain (but if I do, c'est la vie... the other girls probably had it coming). Any final words? I wanna wish the other contestants good luck, and I hope that they stay healthy and safe, cause that's exactly what they're gonna be in this competition...
A scrunched, stained napkin comes from the right-side of the frame, landing beside the voguing queen's foot and halting her to a stop. She stares down at the conspicuous napkin whilst frozen with hands still framed around her face and her back still bent back -
“Damn, someone’s already here?”
- she leans back forward, kicking the napkin to the side as she heads the direction it came from.
“Hi!” Rose spots May beside the bar, heading for a hug before- “You’re… wet?”
“Sophie Anderson, martini, kind of a long story haha.”
The queen tips her glass upside down, realising not one drip had remained of her cock destroyed drink that she’d been pretending to sip as Rose walked over. She sighs, pulling Rose into a wet, slimy hug; giving up her failed attempt of appearing like a mid-menopausal Gossip Girl mom and embracing her namesake as clown.
“Hopefully they’ll bring in another queen who’s an actual clown so I can still look half decent.”
Give them what they want, motha. Only that this time, the steel womb of the elevator was coughing up something more… manly.
The werkroom stills, waiting for the next competitor to walk in. The queens already inside hear a loud clonking sound - clonk, clonk, clonk. Soon after, they see its source - Frankie M. Cyanide stomps in, wearing their signature glitter platform pimp shoes - some of the sparkles have been rubbed off from overwear, but they're still bright enough to distract the casual viewer from realizing. Frankie's legs are tightly confined in a pair of pleather biker pants, showing off an impressive bulge and feminine hips. Their torso is cinched for the gods in a black corset emblazoned with rhinestones, covered with a chic biker jacket covered in pins that they'd picked up from DragCons past. They've drawn on some impressive cleavage.
Frankie's hair is styled in their signature curly brown pompadour, gelled to perfection like a greaser, or perhaps like that one character in that JoJo's Bizarre Adventure anime that Frankie's never actually seen. Their sideburns are gelled down into their cheek contour halfway to their stately nose, framing their face and eyes. They've done their lids in turquoise and hot pink with dramatic white and black liner, their lips are a deep red, and their brows are sharp and thick.
Frankie cocks their head to the side -
"Gender? I hardly knew 'er!"
[FRANKIE M. CYANIDE]: My name's Frankie M. Cyanide! What's the M stand for? Good question. Usually it just stands for "Mmmehhhh...?" I mostly perform out of Connecticut and I'm working on taking over, as Doofenshmirtz would say, the entire tri-state area. Where I'm from is of no importance (but it's New York and I will defend it to the death). For years, I was always the youngest person in all my social groups... then I got into drag, and apparently to many at 27 I'm considered middle-aged now. Just like everyone else, I'm bored and want something to do while quarantined... Also, since I perform in the real world too, this'll give me inspiration for future looks if the apocalypse ever ends! My drag style in 3 words would be cheesy, ridiculous, dramatic. "Hero", "Villain"... These words mean so little in today's day and age, no? But idk I'd say I probably average out to Chaotic Good. I’m going to bring stupid fun and sideburns! Some of history's greatest artists did their best work while quarantined for plagues. ...Of course, many more probably died during that time so that shouldn't really inspire you much.
As with the previous entrance, the house music returned to play in synchrony with this king’s appearance, only that it was now remixed with clown honks in a cartoonish beat. Perfect for Frankie’s apparent silliness and enthusiastic, comical expressions. You’d hire him as a clown, but I don’t think you’d trust him at the kids parties; his first motion being a wank gesture at the two ladies.
“I don’t know whether to spread my legs and squeeze my prolapse like it’s a clown nose or use the sweat off my taint to slip him up.”
May turns to Rose, grabbing her legs and enclosing them having noticed them start to gradually open.
“Hey guys!”
Frankie winks at the pair with a charm and sparkle, side-stepping and sliding over to them. He spins on his toes for them to get another full, 360 look at his entrance look before taking a second to hug and observe the competition himself.
“You’re god damn chaotic but I love every second of it.”
[ROSE SCHWARTZ]: We’re 3 people into the season and this cast is already looking stacked. That king is one hell of a personality and May has the same congenial, yet clumsy presence of Big Momma.
All aboard, and all eyes to the elevator. Chaos and excitement settles as their enthusiasm is drawn back to the arrival of a new contestant. The metal doors capture the momentary reflection of the adjacent double-vaulted windows of the Manhattan sky, before ripping apart and showing the only star left to be seen in frame.
As the fellow contestants wait, the sound of heels from the elevator come into ear, and Venetia comes into frame. She’s wearing pants in a shimmery dark green with a somewhat exaggerated geometric hip starting at the waist and tapering above the ankle. She has on a stoned and sparkly tube top and and an off the shoulder jacket in a matching green as the pants. She is wearing minimal jewelry, stud earrings and a false nose ring, along with a simple silver pump to match the jewelry and top. For the makeup, she’s going with a simple base that matches her olive complexion with green tones for shadow and a nude lip color. She’s wearing a side parted black wig that has that “fresh out of the shower” look. After a couple steps into the “werkroom” she says-
“Watch out everyone, Venetia is in the building!”
“Watch out y’all, she’s warning us of that stank must she’s brought into the room.”
[VENETIA]: I’m Venetia, a 23 year old queen from Chicago! I'm signing up for FDR because I want a creative outlet to bring the fabulous drag queen in my mind to life, as that’s not something I can do in my current situation. I’m a triple F, Funny, Fierce, and Fashion and I think I’ll straddle the hero/villain like I tend to be a nice queen but I won’t hesitate to give my opinion when I feel it’s necessary. I’m also going to bring an energy that this show needs. I’d say that I’m a queen who’s young and has fresh ideas, but also has a strong sense of polish and “she knows what she’s doing” as opposed to some young queens who don’t. My final words would be how fun I think being cast would be, to meet new friends and be a part of something! Thank you for your consideration!
Frankie glares at the queens sparkles as if to be a magpie, chirping in excitement to see someone as equally glittery and bright. The sunlight of sunset pouring into the renovated penthouse makes a spectacle of Venetia, as she takes a longer pause to pose for the camera. She’s sidetracked by the actual spectacle of the luxurious room around her, then drawn to the sound of wolf-whistling competitors.
A mischievous smile dawns her face as she blushes from the appraisal, shimmying and gesturing to herself, taking in every last compliment.
“Damn guys, it’s not charity work-” Venetia steps over and greets each individually “- you can stop making me flustered now. I already look like I’ve been clapped between two thighs.”
“I’ll clap you with my thighs…”
May smirks, breaking out into laughter as she invites the queen to sit next to her with the tap on a vacant stool.
[MAY I. HAVANOTHER]: No seriously, I’d clap her between my thighs. Maybe she’ll pass out and we can continue with one less stunner.
One less stunner? How about one more? The voice of Kylie Jenner is the next to be screamed by the elevator -
Is that a little pig?
- even though we’re expecting this incoming wolf to blow the other piggies houses down.
“Venetia-” Frankie pats her leg concerningly “- she’s speaking about you.”
“Bitch.”
With one elegant turn on her heel, Peach comes round the entrance corner. She's completely stoic in the face, stone-eyed, gentle pout, tall and slim. She pauses, hands-on-hips, and then poses. A beat. In glittering silver heels that look deathly to walk in, she struts into the werkroom as if it's her runway. She's wearing a complete Vivienne Westwood inspired look; a white sheer lace dress that stretches from the top of her neck (where it frills) down to her ankles (where it parts to create a slight train behind her heels), the sleeves are long, and ridiculously ruched at the top as if two magical transparent clouds are on either shoulder. Atop the dress is a white silk corset which cinches the body incredibly tight, and cups the shape of her pecs which are visible beneath the lace of the torso area in the dress. The defining accessories are a brown leather belt with sword attached (in a brown leather case). They match in colour exactly, as with the brown of her long straight middle-parted wig which slinks down her chest. Her mug is earth and neutral tones, hollowed out dark-contoured cheeks with a brown gradient eye shadow and glossy nude lips and completely browless. Her eyes are a grey colour, matching the silver jewels on her ears.
When she reaches her mark, she takes the sword out its clasp and - without so much as flinching in the face - licks it.
"Tasty."
[PEACHES] [PEACH]: My name is Peach just like the Princess, the fruit, and the Timothée Chalamet sex toy! I’m originally from London, England but currently I’m a small Peach in a Big Apple (that’s a New York City reference). I’m 21 years old and I signed up for FDR because I’m a writer, I love drag, and I’ve always dreamed of being a drag queen but sadly lack the talent and money in real life! My drag in three words would be… new age witch. I’d be a villain, because I’m a cunt. I’m going to bring a dynamic blend of fashion, art, and magic, with an incredible lack of decorum. I’m just what drag race has been looking for: another skinny white queen!
Did she just reference Timothee Chalamet? That’s just about white. The ominous presence this villain-esque queen demanded may have been the first chill to breeze into the room, although her happy, wide-spread grin when first seeing and meeting the others grants a welcome warmth that says otherwise.
[PEACH]: Don’t be fooled. I was happy at that moment. Remember that beautiful grin as it’s the only time you’ll see it, other than when I’m winning challenges.
“You so bad-”
Venetia sings to her, Peach looking like a paralytic being able to twitch for the first time as she attempts to twerk on her way over to the group.
“- and baby I want you so bad, yeah.”
To which Frankie and May finish the lyrics, greeting the queen with a symphony which satisfied her villainous ego and presence. She said she was a cunt, so let’s hope she doesn’t swallow these queens whole.
“Nice to meet you all-” She greets the others, holding her hand out to Frankie who kisses the back of it “- especially you.”
“Did it taste like cold stone?”
Venetia turns to Frankie and asks after his slobber remains imprinted on Peach’s hand -
“Nope, just like a shop bought peach… filled with another familiar taste.”
- shrugging at his response and squinting in an attempt to think of what that ‘other taste’ would be. Although merely a joke; the self-proclaimed vemenous queen actually proactively made sure to say hello to each, the lens focus shifted from a constipated looking, confused Venetia to the hugging in the background. Her spit may be acid but there must be some good juju in this tapped water, keeping everyone congenial, albeit likely due to their mutual excitement.
That excitement however is not enough excitement, we need more, and subsequently more contestants. The elevator pings, ovulation had been completed - now it was time for discharge.
About 5 or 6 girls have already made their way into the workroom. Everyone is being cordial and friendly—but it’s now time for the next girl to make her entrance.
A few chuckles is heard from beyond the workroom entrance. They are quickly followed by these words in a familiar tone to that of Bounce Artist Legend, Big Frieda:
“I did not come to play with you hoes!”
That iconic quote is heard with an encho -que drumline-esque, Beyonce homecoming-esque music-
With brown chocolate skin, standing at about 6”3 with heels, thicker than a snicker, giving you padded bawdy for the gods, Armani Devereaux appears just before the week room entrance—but she’s standing backwards! The camera slowly pans from bottom to top. Viewers first see that Armani is wearing a sickening matte black boot that is covered by black flared out pants with ruffles at the bottom. Then you see her fists on her hips; at which point you cannot help but to see the distressed denim black jacket that adorns Arman’s shoulders. The light is perfectly catching the giant black and gold bedazzled black power fist that outline takes up the majority of the jacket. Upon closer look, the names of a few influence black women and queer icons are written in white painted in a graffiti style. The initials AD (Armani Devereaux) can be seen in the lower right panel of the jacket.
As the camera reaches the top, Armani is seen in a beautiful textured black and brown afro.
After a moment, Armani begins to march backwards to the camera, when suddenly, she swiftly flips her arms up and over which causes the jacket to fall to the side. Armani then flips her hair and spins all in one moment. The hair flip reveals a black box braid set with gold braid clamps throughout that goes all the way down to Armani’s ass-topped with a beautiful black beret. Viewers can now see Armani’s full outfit as she faces the camera: a beautiful simple and polished black long sleeve jumpsuit with mesh paneling and a gold metal belt. She is wearing a strong black lip with intricate liner and light Smokey eyeshadow.
Armani does her final pose and says:
“The blacker the berry, the bigger the GAG.”
Spotlights installed into the floor glitch as the queen's powerful stride sets the bulbs into a blazing distortion, a demanding final pose declaring her first impression complete as she stands before the camera.
[ARMANI DEVEREAUX]: My drag name is Armani Devereaux, I’m 24 years oldand I am from New Orleans, Louisiana. I think this would be an amazing way to express myself and dip my toe into drag, so to speak. We’ve all had those “I would’ve done this if I was on drag race” and, well, here’s my chance.I’ve contemplated trying drag out in real life but because of personal circumstances, I am unable to at this time. I think this would be an amazing outlet to be really creative, have a lot of fun, and meet a whole bunch of queens with whom I share a lot in common with. My drag in three words would be black, contemplative, and entertaining. I think I would be perceived as a hero this season. I’m not looking to screw anyone over to get to the crown, but however, I have hands and they work 24/7. First and foremost I am going to bring commitment to this season. I am going to really push myself to be as creative, funny and entertaining as possible. You’re going to get a strong perspective and character from me as well. Armani is going to bring that sweet Louisiana banter with some ratchet NOLA 504 flavor. I will be able to not only command attention in the room, but will be able to be relatable and vulnerable as well. I plan to put my best foot forward to not only make this an enjoyable experience for myself but for everyone else involved and especially the viewers. My final words? “Well Armani, why are YOU Reddit’s Next Fake Drag Superstar?”. I am Reddit’s Next Fake Drag Superstar because I pay my fucking taxes.
“Damn, she’s stunning.”
Peaches mouth gapes, amongst other things, as she watches Armani enter the room. It was probably unlike her, and the others, to be so fond of complimenting other queens so instantaneously, but when sitting with your balls tucked in what seems to be a real-life Gossip Girl game that’s been coded with insane queens, and an even crazier king, your first thought probably isn’t to shade another.
“Thanks! You’re all looking great yourself. I can’t see a flaw in any of you.”
“Don’t worry, you didn’t see how short May and Venetia’s entrances were.”
Rose responds, siren bells ringing as steam exudes from their ears.
“Such a bitch.”
Both of them respond, in synchrony. The shade is finally setting in, ironically whilst the sun almost completely set in the skyline view from the windows. Such shade was soon to be diffused, another star to be tossed into the workroom, already waiting behind the sliding doors.
Val sucked in a breath as she stood behind the opening elevator doors, hearing a few of the kings and queens chatting from a distance. She looked down at her outfit, which one of the trapeze artists had helped Val sew before leaving for the competition. Though Val knew it was probably more simple than what the other competitors had on, Val couldn’t help but love it: it was a white leotard with a collar on her neck that revealed a little black bow tie. Draped over her shoulders was a long red overcoat, with gold lettering on the back spelling her drag name, the waistline adorned with gold fastenings that could keep her waist cinched, despite them being undone for now. Underneath the coat and over the leotard was a pair of black pinup shorts, stretchy enough to accommodate for her planned entrance. On her feet was a pair of sleek black stilettos, and pinned on top of her short curly black wig was a mini black top hat.
Letting out the breath, Val entered the workroom, paying no mind to anyone else in that room. Instead, she threw the overcoat off her shoulders, and got into position. In one swift fluid motion, she lunged forward with her right leg and raised her arms, then lowered them while raising her back leg. Turning her body sideways, she placed her hands on the floor, and pushed off on her front leg, bringing her legs up in the air. Finally, she landed on her feet, finishing the cartwheel by bringing her hands to her waist and grinning.
Glancing at the other contestants, Val saw them staring at her. Whether it was because of the cartwheel, the innumerable tattoos adoring Val’s arms and legs, or even the fact that she still hadn’t said anything. Laughing sheepishly, Val shrugged her shoulders.
“Yeah,” Val said, “I didn’t have an entrance line prepared.”
A circus ring of fire spawns around the queen as she strikes her final pose, diffusing a prosperity of multi-coloured sparks that would flutter and progressively fade. The CGI effect diffuses as she turns to the voices of the other contestants -
“Producers, you know the clown music you probably played for Frankie? Play that again here.”
May exclaims, the camera panning over and zooming into to her baffled - yet intrigued - expression.
[VAL KYRIE]: My name is Val Kyrie, I’m 24 and from Austin, Texas! After ten years of being in the circus, I want to establish a name and brand outside of it. My drag in three words would be clownish, vaudeville and showgirl. Honestly, Val is a ‘love-it-or-hate-it’ kind of girl: you’ll either think she’s enthusiastic and charming, or a show-off with her circus experience being a gimmick. It’ll just depend on the kind of person you are. I’m going to bring a unique choreography due to being from the circus, and an excitable and enthusiastic attitude towards most challenges. Any final words? Here’s a character description then: Val’s a drag queen who’s based in the circus. After living with a homophobic foster family, she ran away from them to join the circus (who were passing by in her town at the time) and has been with them ever since. She’s primarily a trapeze artist and contortionist, so her specialty is anything physical. She also knows how to make clothes, but her looks can come across as simple and costume-like. Due to being young, she has some maturing to do, but she’s very excited to branch out from the circus, despite loving her work with them.
“Hey all!”
Circus queen Val crosses through the workstations and heads to the others, slightly more timid in demeanour than her entrance. She may have been used to the circus life, but a room full of clowns from otherwise drag backgrounds - probably not her natural habitat.
“That little performance you just did coming into the room? Sickening.”
Armani, being the first queen she’d reach, compliments her entrance. The others agree and commemorate her the same, before the lens cuts back to the elevator doors. The shot warps in technicolour before the door opens and the colour drains back to its normal state.
The lights in the werkroom doors flashed once in a bright white light. BAM ! in walks Euphoria Adams. The dotted stage lights surrounding her in the door frame lit up her corset covered in Swarovski Crystal and shattered disco ball. The other queens stare as she leans on the elevator frame with one arm up. She looks up and down to the other queens and winks. She struts to the middle of the room and rips off her skirt revealing the corset is a bodysuit with the same crystal details. She pulls a pin out of her hair and lets her blonde braids fall.
“Euphoria; a state of intense happiness and self confidence.”
[EUPHORIA]: My drag name is Euphoria Adams. I’m from a little town in Ireland, and I’m 17. I used to compete in lots of competitions like this on Instagram and I did very well, now I wanna compete here. My drag style is seductive, creative and inventive. If I like you I’ll be a hero, and if I don’t like you then you’ll know about it. This season I want to bring CUNT. And if I can’t bring that, then I’ll just be one. Good luck to myself and good riddance to everyone else.
“Damn, didn’t know I’d ever get to meet Zendaya.”
Venetia smiles as she falls into a hug with the queen, exchanging their first hello, then stepping aside so she could introduce herself to the others.
“I must be late to the party.”
The camera swurves down to the empty glasses on the mini-bar, although she was more likely commenting on the amount of queens in the room. Speaking of, the room also had her bewildered. A young queen, now in Manhattan, surrounded by other artists. If she ever thought her first trip to this big city was to be a west coast Jamal Charles - she was wrong.
“This place is actually crazy.”
And it was only about to get crazier. This new queen may have thought she was late, but she was only middle of the pack so far.
A tall, slim figure strides into the werk room from the elevator in her ash-grey high heel sandals with a bright amber back, face obscured by a megaphone styled like a traffic cone which she held in her left hand, the other perched upon her waist. She wore a latex dress, which ended just below her knees; it caught the light of the room and shone bright in neon orange. A stripe of high-vis material hugged her cinched waist and another lined the bottom of the dress. Mini traffic cones jutted out from each shoulder and pointed to her sickeningly sweet wig. Her pale orange hair in a beehive style featured a prominent, bright white streak which swirled like a scoop of soft serve ice cream.
“Alert! Alert! This is an urgent warning to all kings and queens; we’ve heard word of a storm arriving in the werk room. So take cover, because she’s here!”
She lifted the megaphone away from her face to reveal a shimmering red lip and oversized eyelashes which emphasised her piercing gaze as she surveyed the room. Amanda Alert had arrived.
“A gassy queen, nice.”
Frankie declares the first observation of their new arrival.
[AMANDA ALERT]: My drag name is Amanda Alert, I’m from Carrickfergus in Northern Ireland of the UK! I’m 22 and I signed up for this competition as all this talent has been cooped up in this tiny country for too long, so it’s time for Reddit to find out what I can do. Whatever that is. I guess we’ll find out together. My drag style in 3 words is performative, dramatic and conceptual. Oh! I do love a good mind game, but who doesn’t? Whether I could actually pull that off is another question. That being said, I have a big heart and I would always stand for what’s right and fair. However, if the other competitors are looking for help, I’m not the one. I’m going to bring drama. Where does the character end and where do I begin? Only a degree in psychology will help you there because I’m not telling, but that’s just part of the story of me that will unfold. Any final words? Dumb blondes unite!
“She’s an irish lass too.”
Amanda struts over to the group, gesturing to her face and her outfit. A demeanour of confidence which one could die for, now being shared with the other contestants.
“How are we all?”
The queen looks left to right, taking in the view of her competitors so far. Tough competitio-
[AMANDA ALERT]: I know I look stunning. Some of these contestants could give me a run for my money, but it’s a good thing we’re not competing for money - isn’t it?
“We’re doing great thanks. It’s not been too shady yet -”
Peach answers, although staring directly at the camera and breaking the fourth wall with a suggestive wink. Amanda glances over at the make-up cases, briefly interested before noticing it was in sponsorship of the famous hairy lipsticks brand, to which she retreated back to the bunch.
“- maybe the others will be busted enough for us to drag.”
“Just turn around and look in the mirror.”
Armani gestures towards Peach’s reflection, Amanda flinching as she finds her seat between the pair - avoiding any potential fists thrown in her way.
submitted by aIfonsi to u/aIfonsi [link] [comments]


2020.03.31 16:49 bbukrpdr TEST

A swedish beauty; unconventionally black hair and glistening pools of honey for eyes, puddles of maple swirling around the pupil and shining as to have been struck by the purest ray of sunlight. Her eyes framed with bold and brazen eyebrows which, in full bloom, would not fray from being thick. This stark, charcoal feature was contrasted by the healthy sheen to her smooth honey-sickle skin, glazing over her plump lips which had been pressed against the bud of a rose; a quaint pink pigment complimenting her slight, blushing undertones.
Nestled in her cupid bow was a beauty mark, soon to be hidden by the placement of an AB crystal that illuminated her face in a kaleidoscope of colours from the refraction of light. A show of Northern Lights subsequently danced on her canvas, contorting as she angled her face in a mirror into a variety of poses.
It was only when the focus shifted in the mirror from the spectacle of beauty to the reflection that the realization that she was in no boudoir; nor an inside setting occured. A concrete jungle of skyscrapers towered like goliath in the distance, the approaching cars miniscule in comparison. Natural, diegetic sounds faded in; the classic harmony of crowds, cars beeping - and people beeping with cusses - during rush hour. The orchestra of New York, or more specifically, Manhattan.
SOME RANDOM ROAD MANHATTAN
The cusses were actually from a man parked behind the queen, who herself sat in an unexpected vehicle; a mahusive, dingey truck which had been stained from time and many journeys through polluted streets. A perfume of must and damp, a node of oil-leakage somewhere and a slight trace of retired Victoria Secret perfume.
“If I turned around and called him a cuck I’d be called a tranny-” she twists the radio’s volume dial to block out the sound of ignorance, seemingly looking down at what was thought to be an empty guest chair “- I should just send you to sort him out, huh.”
Her downward gaze drew focus to a petite, auburn pomeranian, twisting her head at her owner as if to be serving Stephen Hawkings in a face category. The dog’s paw scratches at a lone watch in the mid-section between the two chairs, yapping in excitement.
“Oh shit, it’s time. I almost forgot. Good baby.”
The camera traces her hand down to the glove compartment, pulling out a veil of rhinestone netting and pulling it over her head. An empty gap was left open for her lips to be squeezed through, two holes cut for her eyes also, albeit not too much use as she opted for a pair of opaque black cat eye sunglasses instead that she’d left on the floor.
A final action-match shot showed the puppy's paw pushing forward the gear and the ‘womans’ hand twisting the radio volume dial up more; an appropriate song beginning to play as she gripped onto the wheel. Her boot slammed down onto the reverse pedal, crushing the cussing man’s car behind her before turning right into the road - currently ‘empty’ with the virus outbreak chaos.
“Telling Fantasia that Smacahoe had coronavirus didn’t work-” she looks up to red lights, continuing to race past anyway “- but the second I told her Starry had it, she left straight from work. If my triangulation of fast food restaurants is right, this fatty should be on the next road…”
The last leg of the race. The upcoming, right-turn avenue would be her final destination, the queen speeding and swerving down into the lane and slamming on the acceleration. A rhinestoned sports car is seen pulling out, but unaware of the oncomi-
She slams the truck straight into the sports car, sending that bitch flying like Quinn and whipping it straight into a pole near Grand Central Park. Fantasia, who had been driving the car, was yeeted out of the shattered front window and bounced across the road onto the path. People walked past the helpless queen with fear that touching her would infect with them gay, and corona, virus; her body surrounded by a cesspool of pink rhinestones and glass shards which scattered a rainbow veil on the concrete around her.
Her crippled body twitched, her eyelash still as wonky as before, staring off into the gates of the park and awaiting for help. It was not too long she had to wait, a click-clack of heels heard strutting over, Naomi Campbell was here to save he-
“It’s my time to shine now, mother.”
The black-heels, now in-frame of the shot, twisted in the rubble as to conjure a plume of rhinestone dust to enhance her arrival, with evidently no motion to help the queen up. A gloved hand lowers to pat the queens back, a cold, everlasting touch.
“You never even gave me a number name, you spent more time facilitating obesity on Reddit Dragula than you did ever care for me.”
She’s not wrong. Still doesn’t mean it’s ok. Neither is leaving her mother crippled on the floor, but who doesn't love a good mother-daughter rivalry. The camera switched to an above angle as the heels left the shot, the pool of fragmented car parts spelling out: Fake Drag Race, Fantasia’s now-risen surrender flag showing an imprint of checkerboard fabric billowed in the wind, the title sequence glitching and contorting.
Time for a new age. And a new pair of legs.
***
The conundrum of static colour, manifested from the prior glitching and subsequent pixelation, gradually began to diffuse. Silhouettes of variant, purple, white, black and blue colour could be seen as each pixel slowly restored back to normal; such shapes revealed to be mannequins, wigs, spotlights - everything drag.
The room was vast, as if it were a Manhattan penthouse from the upper-east side, renovated to be an open plan space albeit the notes of luxury left with the stylistic choices. A double-vaulted ceiling, towering exposed brick walls that had been painted stark white or black to compliment the contrast against otherwise bright, neon lighting.
In one way, it was a boudoir room on steroids; a lineage of marble-varnished mirrors lined against the furthest wall besides a glass surface-top and alternating colour stalls beneath. Stacks and pyramids of make-up cases provided by Jaclyn Hill beauty placed like jenga puzzle pieces on a platinum-pole luggage cart which had been emblazoned with intermittent crystals, not too distant from clothing racks neatly tucked away in the adjacent wall.
The floor was too marble in the make-up area, the space occupied by a pair of giant, velvet lips which also acted as a sofa and a giant lipstick (for your pleasure) reminiscent of the season’s promotional work. An arrangement of marble-slate top workstations orbited the center of the room, each topped with a sewing machine and seamstress tools hanging from nails on either side.
Fabric for the sewing machines could be found up the stairs on the nearest wall, traced by a gallery of empty frames which were filled with paintings of the competitions inspirations: Tiffany, a profile of Christian Sirriano’s rat looking ass besides a collage of his work, the series concluding with a family portrait of Smacahoe and her sister Flashback Mary.
Actually up these stairs was the open fabric room, each wall lined with bolts of both rich and questionably tacky fabrics for the queens to use, as well as an artillery of stolen jewelry to accessorise their runways.
This was the competition's work room, on Floor 64.
FLOOR 64 WEEK ONE
Oh, and there’s also a mini-bar for the alcoholics on the one side.
“Let’s destroy them!”
The unexpected voice of Rebecca More and Sophie Anderson echoes around the boudoir room, coming from the entrance; or for that matter, the ring of the elevator. Stylised to be exquisitely ‘old-fashioned’ but renovated with a cohesive platinum twist, the restored number dial rising with a recognisable flicker of gold luminescence. Rumour has it, you enter on the bottom floor in rags, and step out on floor 64 with the riches, a star. It’s your choice whether you believe it or not, but these contestants would soon test this as to be real, or a old-wives tale.
Speaking of contestants, if the floor-integrated spotlights flickering blue-white dramatically was anything of a sign, we were to expect our first fake queen or king to enter. Each click of the elevator rising reminisced in the room, the echo fading and making way for a sound of churning electrical current.
The lights dim with a spotlight near the workroom entrance, and a queen walks in. She is tall but slim, with legs that could only be rivaled by Naomi Smalls. She walks in wearing a simple black cocktail dress, carrying a simple black purse. The top of the dress is flooded with sequins, and the bottom is made of tulle, with rhinestones scattered here and there. She is wearing black heels, which have also been bedazzled with more rhinestones. She is sporting her natural golden blonde hair in an updo, with a fascinator that matches her dress. She walks into the workroom and says -
"Oh, don't mind me; I shouldn't be long. I'm just here for my crown and 100 grand, then I'll be on my way."
May, the first queen, declares to an empty room. Crickets could quite literally be heard, but a chorus of applause was played through speakers via producer interference to save for the awkwardness. She turned from staring blankly - into blank spaces about the room, to smiling back at the camera.
[MAY I. HAVANOTHER]: My name is May I. Havanaother, I’m 21 and from Denver, CO! I signed up for this as it seemed like an interesting experience, and I thought it would be fun to try it out. My drag style in 3 words would be polished, elegant and comedic, and I would definitely see myself as a hero this season, maybe even this season’s Miss Congeniality. If I don’t win, that is. I plan to bring my friendly self, along with some amazing runway looks. I will admit that I’m not as experienced in the drag world, but who says you need to be experienced to do well in this season? Be warned, fellow competitors.
“First one in? Hopefully not the first one out.”
She takes a curious step over to the nearest workstation, her eyes taking bewildered glances around the werkroom. That is until she spotted the mini-bar, wandering on over and preparing a martini as she waited for the next queen. Not for the next contestant, but herself.
“I don’t even like martini’s but anything to look more glamoro-”
Oh shit, onto the next one!
May drops the glass and spills it’s contents on her dress.
“That fucking elevator bell.”
Elegant music can be heard as Rose Schwartz enters the werkroom. The sound of her stomping her heels takes over the entire room. She is a vision in red. From her red finger wave wig, to her gorgeous, tailored red suit, down to her 6 inch red pumps. She is accessorised with long, red nails, a red necklace with matching red rings, and two small earrings shaped like the letters "R" and "S" (also, red). Her makeup is a beautiful red mug, with plump red lips and a glistening red eyeshadow. In her left hand is a wine glass, taller than any wine glass that's ever been seen on television. The glass is full of a red liquid, mirroring the color of Rose's look (did I mention it was red?). Rose stops and poses, lifting the wine glass up into the air, and putting her right hand on her waist.
"L'chaim!"
- she says in a sexy tone, with a seductive smile on her face. She then proceeds to drink the entire glass in a single sip, and gently drops it to the floor. She sighs in satisfaction, and then she......BURPS?!!! The elegant music stops abruptly and a rattlesnake sound effect is played. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Rose puts her hand on her mouth and giggles.
"My bad," she says. She then looks at May and says: "Also, don't worry that was just cranberry juice".
A revival of an instrumental house-music beat plays as the queen enters the workroom, taking her time to pose in the camera like a clapped covergirl model.
[ROSE SCHWARTZ]: Hi everyone! My name is Rose Schwartz, I'm on the edge of seventeen and I'm from the faraway land of Israel! I signed up for FDR, because...well... I don't really have anything better to do! But also, I LOVE competitions, & I wanna show the world what I'm capable of, and have some fun doing it! In 3 words, I would describe my drag as A.S.S: Authentic Silly & Stunning But don't be expecting to see any a/s/s from me, because your girl is skinny as hell and I can't leave the house to buy me some butt pads! What I'm gonna bring to this season is a lot of creativity, a lot of humour, a lot of interesting lerks, and definitely some shade! So I hope I won't end up as the villain (but if I do, c'est la vie... the other girls probably had it coming). Any final words? I wanna wish the other contestants good luck, and I hope that they stay healthy and safe, cause that's exactly what they're gonna be in this competition...
A scrunched, stained napkin comes from the right-side of the frame, landing beside the voguing queen's foot and halting her to a stop. She stares down at the conspicuous napkin whilst frozen with hands still framed around her face and her back still bent back -
“Damn, someone’s already here?”
- she leans back forward, kicking the napkin to the side as she heads the direction it came from.
“Hi!” Rose spots May beside the bar, heading for a hug before- “You’re… wet?”
“Sophie Anderson, martini, kind of a long story haha”
The queen tips her glass upside down, realising not one drip had remained of her cock destroyed drink that she’d been pretending to sip from an empty glass as Rose walked over. She sighs, pulling Rose into a wet, slimy hug; giving up her failed attempt of appearing like a mid-menopausal Gossip Girl mom and embracing her namesake as clown.
“Hopefully they’ll bring in another queen who’s an actual clown so I can still look half decent.”
Give them what they want, motha. Only that this time, the steel womb of the elevator was coughing up something more… manly.
The werkroom stills, waiting for the next competitor to walk in. The queens already inside hear a loud clonking sound - clonk, clonk, clonk. Soon after, they see its source - Frankie M. Cyanide stomps in, wearing their signature glitter platform pimp shoes - some of the sparkles have been rubbed off from overwear, but they're still bright enough to distract the casual viewer from realizing. Frankie's legs are tightly confined in a pair of pleather biker pants, showing off an impressive bulge and feminine hips. Their torso is cinched for the gods in a black corset emblazoned with rhinestones, covered with a chic biker jacket covered in pins that they'd picked up from DragCons past. They've drawn on some impressive cleavage.
Frankie's hair is styled in their signature curly brown pompadour, gelled to perfection like a greaser, or perhaps like that one character in that JoJo's Bizarre Adventure anime that Frankie's never actually seen. Their sideburns are gelled down into their cheek contour halfway to their stately nose, framing their face and eyes. They've done their lids in turquoise and hot pink with dramatic white and black liner, their lips are a deep red, and their brows are sharp and thick.
Frankie cocks their head to the side -
"Gender? I hardly knew 'er!"
[FRANKIE M. CYANIDE]: My name's Frankie M. Cyanide! What's the M stand for? Good question. Usually it just stands for "Mmmehhhh...?" I mostly perform out of Connecticut and I'm working on taking over, as Doofenshmirtz would say, the entire tri-state area. Where I'm from is of no importance (but it's New York and I will defend it to the death). For years, I was always the youngest person in all my social groups... then I got into drag, and apparently to many at 27 I'm considered middle-aged now. Just like everyone else, I'm bored and want something to do while quarantined... Also, since I perform in the real world too, this'll give me inspiration for future looks if the apocalypse ever ends! My drag style in 3 words would be cheesy, ridiculous, dramatic. "Hero", "Villain"... These words mean so little in today's day and age, no? But idk I'd say I probably average out to Chaotic Good. I’m going to bring stupid fun and sideburns! Some of history's greatest artists did their best work while quarantined for plagues. ...Of course, many more probably died during that time so that shouldn't really inspire you much.
As the previous entrance, the house music returned to play in synchrony with this king’s entrance, only that it was now remixed with clown honks in a cartoonish beat. Perfect for Frankie’s apparent silliness and enthusiastic, comical expressions. You’d hire him as a clown, but I don’t think you’d trust him at the kids parties; his first motion being a wank gesture at the two ladies.
“I don’t know whether to spread my legs and squeeze my prolapse like it’s a clown nose or use the sweat off my taint to slip him up.”
May turns to Rose, grabbing her legs and enclosing them having noticed them start to gradually open.
“Hey guys!”
Frankie winks at the pair with a charm and sparkle, side-stepping and sliding over to them. He spins on his toes for them to get another full, 360 look at his entrance look before taking a second to hug and observe the competition himself.
“You’re god damn chaotic but I love every second of it.”
[ROSE SCHWARTZ]: We’re 3 people into the season and this cast is already looking stacked. That king is one hell of a personality and May has the same congenial, yet clumsy presence of Big Momma.
All aboard, and all eyes to the elevator. Chaos and excitement settles as their enthusiasm is drawn back to the arrival of a new contestant. The metal doors capture the momentary reflection of the adjacent double-vaulted windows of the Manhattan sky, before ripping apart and showing the only star left to be seen in frame.
As the fellow contestants wait, the sound of heels from the elevator come into ear, and Venetia comes into frame. She’s wearing pants in a shimmery dark green with a somewhat exaggerated geometric hip starting at the waist and tapering above the ankle. She has on a stoned and sparkly tube top and and an off the shoulder jacket in a matching green as the pants. She is wearing minimal jewelry, stud earrings and a false nose ring, along with a simple silver pump to match the jewelry and top. For the makeup, she’s going with a simple base that matches her olive complexion with green tones for shadow and a nude lip color. She’s wearing a side parted black wig that has that “fresh out of the shower” look. After a couple steps into the “werkroom” she says-
“Watch out everyone, Venetia is in the building!”
“Watch out y’all, she’s warning us of that stank must she’s brought into the room.”
[VENETIA]: I’m Venetia, a 23 year old queen from Chicago! I'm signing up for FDR because I want a creative outlet to bring the fabulous drag queen in my mind to life, as that’s not something I can do in my current situation. I’m a triple F, Funny, Fierce, and Fashion and I think I’ll straddle the hero/villain like I tend to be a nice queen but I won’t hesitate to give my opinion when I feel it’s necessary. I’m also going to bring an energy that this show needs. I’d say that I’m a queen who’s young and has fresh ideas, but also has a strong sense of polish and “she knows what she’s doing” as opposed to some young queens who don’t. My final words would be how fun I think being cast would be, to meet new friends and be a part of something! Thank you for your consideration!
Frankie glares at the queens sparkles as if to be a magpie, chirping in excitement to see someone as equally glittery and bright. The sunlight of sunset pouring into the renovated penthouse makes a spectacle of Venetia, as she takes a longer pause to pose for the camera. She’s sidetracked by the actual spectacle of the luxurious room around her, then drawn to the sound of wolf-whistling competitors.
A mischievous smile dawns her face as she blushes from the appraisal, shimmying and gesturing to herself, taking in every last compliment.
“Damn guys, it’s not charity work-” Venetia steps over and greets each individually “- you can stop making me flustered now. I already look like I’ve been clapped between two thighs.”
“I’ll clap you with my thighs…”
May smirks, breaking out into laughter as she invites the queen to sit next to her with the tap on a vacant stool.
[MAY I. HAVANOTHER]: No seriously, I’d clap her between my thighs. Maybe she’ll pass out and we can continue with one less stunner.
One less stunner? How about one more? The voice of Kylie Jenner is the next to be screamed by the elevator -
Is that a little pig?
- even though we’re expecting this incoming wolf to blow the other piggies houses down.
“Venetia-” Frankie pats her leg concerningly “- she’s speaking about you.”
“Bitch.”
With one elegant turn on her heel, Peach comes round the entrance corner. She's completely stoic in the face, stone-eyed, gentle pout, tall and slim. She pauses, hands-on-hips, and then poses. A beat. In glittering silver heels that look deathly to walk in, she struts into the werkroom as if it's her runway. She's wearing a complete Vivienne Westwood inspired look; a white sheer lace dress that stretches from the top of her neck (where it frills) down to her ankles (where it parts to create a slight train behind her heels), the sleeves are long, and ridiculously ruched at the top as if two magical transparent clouds are on either shoulder. Atop the dress is a white silk corset which cinches the body incredibly tight, and cups the shape of her pecs which are visible beneath the lace of the torso area in the dress. The defining accessories are a brown leather belt with sword attached (in a brown leather case). They match in colour exactly, as with the brown of her long straight middle-parted wig which slinks down her chest. Her mug is earth and neutral tones, hollowed out dark-contoured cheeks with a brown gradient eye shadow and glossy nude lips and completely browless. Her eyes are a grey colour, matching the silver jewels on her ears.
When she reaches her mark, she takes the sword out its clasp and - without so much as flinching in the face - licks it.
"Tasty."
[PEACHES] [PEACH]: My name is Peach just like the Princess, the fruit, and the Timothée Chalamet sex toy! I’m originally from London, England but currently I’m a small Peach in a Big Apple (that’s a New York City reference). I’m 21 years old and I signed up for FDR because I’m a writer, I love drag, and I’ve always dreamed of being a drag queen but sadly lack the talent and money in real life! My drag in three words would be… new age witch. I’d be a villain, because I’m a cunt. I’m going to bring a dynamic blend of fashion, art, and magic, with an incredible lack of decorum. I’m just what drag race has been looking for: another skinny white queen!
Did she just reference Timothee Chalamet? That’s just about white. The ominous presence this villain-esque queen demanded may have been the first chill to breeze into the room, although her happy, wide-spread grin when first seeing and meeting the others grants a welcome warmth and says otherwise.
[PEACH]: Don’t be fooled. I was happy at that moment. Remember that beautiful grin as it’s the only time you’ll see it, other than when I’m winning challenges.
“You so bad-”
Venetia sings to her, Peach looking like a paralytic being able to twitch for the first time as she attempts to booty bop on her way over to the group.
“- and baby I want you so bad, yeah.”
To which Frankie and May finish the lyrics, greeting the queen with a symphony which satisfied her villainous ego and presence. She said she was a cunt, so let’s hope she doesn’t swallow these queens whole.
“Nice to meet you all-” She greets the others, holding her hand out to Frankie who kisses the back of it “- especially you.”
“Did it taste like cold stone?”
Venetia turns to Frankie and asks after his slobber remains imprinted on Peach’s hand -
“Nope, just like a shop bought peach… filled with another familiar taste.”
- shrugging at his response and squinting in an attempt to think of what that ‘other taste’ would be. Although merely a joke; the self-proclaimed vemenous queen actually proactively made sure to say hello to each, the lens focus shifted from a constipated looking, confused Venetia to the hugging in the background. Her spit may be acid but there must be some good juju in this tapped water, keeping everyone congenial, albeit likely due to their mutual excitement.
That excitement however is not enough excitement, we need more, and subsequently more contestants. The elevator pings, ovulation had been completed - now it was time for discharge.
About 5 or 6 girls have already made their way into the workroom. Everyone is being cordial and friendly—but it’s now time for the next girl to make her entrance.
A few chuckles is heard from beyond the workroom entrance. They are quickly followed by these words in a familiar tone to that of Bounce Artist Legend, Big Frieda:
“I did not come to play with you hoes!”
That iconic quote is heard with an encho -que drumline-esque, Beyonce homecoming-esque music-
With brown chocolate skin, standing at about 6”3 with heels, thicker than a snicker, giving you padded bawdy for the gods, Armani Devereaux appears just before the week room entrance—but she’s standing backwards! The camera slowly pans from bottom to top. Viewers first see that Armani is wearing a sickening matte black boot that is covered by black flared out pants with ruffles at the bottom. Then you see her fists on her hips; at which point you cannot help but to see the distressed denim black jacket that adorns Arman’s shoulders. The light is perfectly catching the giant black and gold bedazzled black power fist that outline takes up the majority of the jacket. Upon closer look, the names of a few influence black women and queer icons are written in white painted in a graffiti style. The initials AD (Armani Devereaux) can be seen in the lower right panel of the jacket.
As the camera reaches the top, Armani is seen in a beautiful textured black and brown afro.
After a moment, Armani begins to march backwards to the camera, when suddenly, she swiftly flips her arms up and over which causes the jacket to fall to the side. Armani then flips her hair and spins all in one moment. The hair flip reveals a black box braid set with gold braid clamps throughout that goes all the way down to Armani’s ass-topped with a beautiful black beret. Viewers can now see Armani’s full outfit as she faces the camera: a beautiful simple and polished black long sleeve jumpsuit with mesh paneling and a gold metal belt. She is wearing a strong black lip with intricate liner and light Smokey eyeshadow.
Armani does her final pose and says:
“The blacker the berry, the bigger the GAG.”
Spotlights installed into the floor glitch as the queen's powerful stride sets the bulbs into a blazing distortion, a demanding final pose declaring her first impression complete as she stands before the camera.
[ARMANI DEVEREAUX]: My drag name is Armani Devereaux, I’m 24 years oldand I am from New Orleans, Louisiana. I think this would be an amazing way to express myself and dip my toe into drag, so to speak. We’ve all had those “I would’ve done this if I was on drag race” and, well, here’s my chance.I’ve contemplated trying drag out in real life but because of personal circumstances, I am unable to at this time. I think this would be an amazing outlet to be really creative, have a lot of fun, and meet a whole bunch of queens with whom I share a lot in common with. My drag in three words would be black, contemplative, and entertaining. I think I would be perceived as a hero this season. I’m not looking to screw anyone over to get to the crown, but however, I have hands and they work 24/7. First and foremost I am going to bring commitment to this season. I am going to really push myself to be as creative, funny and entertaining as possible. You’re going to get a strong perspective and character from me as well. Armani is going to bring that sweet Louisiana banter with some ratchet NOLA 504 flavor. I will be able to not only command attention in the room, but will be able to be relatable and vulnerable as well. I plan to put my best foot forward to not only make this an enjoyable experience for myself but for everyone else involved and especially the viewers. My final words? “Well Armani, why are YOU Reddit’s Next Fake Drag Superstar?”. I am Reddit’s Next Fake Drag Superstar because I pay my fucking taxes.
“Damn, she’s stunning.”
Peaches mouth gapes, amongst other things, as she watches Armani enter the room. It was probably unlike her, and the others, to be so fond of complimenting other queens so instantaneously, but when sitting with your balls tucked in what seems to be a real-life Gossip Girl game that’s been coded with insane queens, and an even crazier king, your first thought probably isn’t to shade another.
“Thanks! You’re all looking great yourself. I can’t see a flaw in any of you.”
“Don’t worry, you didn’t see how short May and Venetia’s entrances were.”
Rose responds, siren bells ringing as steam exudes from their ears.
“Such a bitch.”
Both of them respond, in synchrony. The shade is finally setting in, ironically whilst the sun almost completely set in the skyline view from the windows. Such shade was soon to be diffused, another star to be tossed into the workroom, already waiting behind the sliding doors.
Val sucked in a breath as she stood behind the opening elevator doors, hearing a few of the kings and queens chatting from a distance. She looked down at her outfit, which one of the trapeze artists had helped Val sew before leaving for the competition. Though Val knew it was probably more simple than what the other competitors had on, Val couldn’t help but love it: it was a white leotard with a collar on her neck that revealed a little black bow tie. Draped over her shoulders was a long red overcoat, with gold lettering on the back spelling her drag name, the waistline adorned with gold fastenings that could keep her waist cinched, despite them being undone for now. Underneath the coat and over the leotard was a pair of black pinup shorts, stretchy enough to accommodate for her planned entrance. On her feet was a pair of sleek black stilettos, and pinned on top of her short curly black wig was a mini black top hat.
Letting out the breath, Val entered the workroom, paying no mind to anyone else in that room. Instead, she threw the overcoat off her shoulders, and got into position. In one swift fluid motion, she lunged forward with her right leg and raised her arms, then lowered them while raising her back leg. Turning her body sideways, she placed her hands on the floor, and pushed off on her front leg, bringing her legs up in the air. Finally, she landed on her feet, finishing the cartwheel by bringing her hands to her waist and grinning.
Glancing at the other contestants, Val saw them staring at her. Whether it was because of the cartwheel, the innumerable tattoos adoring Val’s arms and legs, or even the fact that she still hadn’t said anything. Laughing sheepishly, Val shrugged her shoulders.
“Yeah,” Val said, “I didn’t have an entrance line prepared.”
A circus ring of fire spawns around the queen as she strikes her final pose, diffusing a prosperity of multi-coloured sparks that would flutter and progressively fade. The CGI effect diffuses as she turns to the voices of the other contestants -
“Producers, you know the clown music you probably played for Frankie? Play that again here.”
May exclaims, the camera panning over and zooming into to her baffled - yet intrigued - expression.
[VAL KYRIE]: My name is Val Kyrie, I’m 24 and from Austin, Texas! After ten years of being in the circus, I want to establish a name and brand outside of it. My drag in three words would be clownish, vaudeville and showgirl. Honestly, Val is a ‘love-it-or-hate-it’ kind of girl: you’ll either think she’s enthusiastic and charming, or a show-off with her circus experience being a gimmick. It’ll just depend on the kind of person you are. I’m going to bring a unique choreography due to being from the circus, and an excitable and enthusiastic attitude towards most challenges. Any final words? Here’s a character description then: Val’s a drag queen who’s based in the circus. After living with a homophobic foster family, she ran away from them to join the circus (who were passing by in her town at the time) and has been with them ever since. She’s primarily a trapeze artist and contortionist, so her specialty is anything physical. She also knows how to make clothes, but her looks can come across as simple and costume-like. Due to being young, she has some maturing to do, but she’s very excited to branch out from the circus, despite loving her work with them.
“Hey all!”
Circus queen Val crosses through the workstations and heads to the others, slightly more timid in demeanour than her entrance. She may have been used to the circus life, but a room full of clowns from otherwise drag backgrounds - probably not her natural habitat.
“That little performance you just did coming into the room? Sickening.”
Armani, being the first queen she’d reach, compliments her entrance. The others agree and commemorate her the same, before the lens cuts back to the elevator doors. The shot warps in technicolour before the door opens and the colour drains back to its normal state.
The lights in the werkroom doors flashed once in a bright white light. BAM ! in walks Euphoria Adams. The dotted stage lights surrounding her in the door frame lit up her corset covered in Swarovski Crystal and shattered disco ball. The other queens stare as she leans on the elevator frame with one arm up. She looks up and down to the other queens and winks. She struts to the middle of the room and rips off her skirt revealing the corset is a bodysuit with the same crystal details. She pulls a pin out of her hair and lets her blonde braids fall.
“Euphoria; a state of intense happiness and self confidence.”
[EUPHORIA]: My drag name is Euphoria Adams. I’m from a little town in Ireland, and I’m 17. I used to compete in lots of competitions like this on Instagram and I did very well, now I wanna compete here. My drag style is seductive, creative and inventive. If I like you I’ll be a hero, and if I don’t like you then you’ll know about it. This season I want to bring CUNT. And if I can’t bring that, then I’ll just be one. Good luck to myself and good riddance to everyone else.
“Damn, didn’t know I’d ever get to meet Zendaya.”
Venetia smiles as she falls into a hug with the queen, exchanging their first hello, then stepping aside so she could introduce herself to the others.
“I must be late to the party.”
The camera swurves down to the empty glasses on the mini-bar, although she was more likely commenting on the amount of queens in the room. Speaking of, the room also had her bewildered. A young queen, now in Manhattan, surrounded by other artists. If she ever thought her first trip to this big city was to be a west coast Jamal Charles - she was wrong.
“This place is actually crazy.”
And it was only about to get crazier. This new queen may have thought she was late, but she was only middle of the pack so far.
A tall, slim figure strides into the werk room from the elevator in her ash-grey high heel sandals with a bright amber back, face obscured by a megaphone styled like a traffic cone which she held in her left hand, the other perched upon her waist. She wore a latex dress, which ended just below her knees; it caught the light of the room and shone bright in neon orange. A stripe of high-vis material hugged her cinched waist and another lined the bottom of the dress. Mini traffic cones jutted out from each shoulder and pointed to her sickeningly sweet wig. Her pale orange hair in a beehive style featured a prominent, bright white streak which swirled like a scoop of soft serve ice cream.
“Alert! Alert! This is an urgent warning to all kings and queens; we’ve heard word of a storm arriving in the werk room. So take cover, because she’s here!”
She lifted the megaphone away from her face to reveal a shimmering red lip and oversized eyelashes which emphasised her piercing gaze as she surveyed the room. Amanda Alert had arrived.
“A gassy queen, nice.”
Frankie declares the first observation of their new arrival.
[AMANDA ALERT]: My drag name is Amanda Alert, I’m from Carrickfergus in Northern Ireland of the UK! I’m 22 and I signed up for this competition as all this talent has been cooped up in this tiny country for too long, so it’s time for Reddit to find out what I can do. Whatever that is. I guess we’ll find out together. My drag style in 3 words is performative, dramatic and conceptual. Oh! I do love a good mind game, but who doesn’t? Whether I could actually pull that off is another question. That being said, I have a big heart and I would always stand for what’s right and fair. However, if the other competitors are looking for help, I’m not the one. I’m going to bring drama. Where does the character end and where do I begin? Only a degree in psychology will help you there because I’m not telling, but that’s just part of the story of me that will unfold. Any final words? Dumb blondes unite!
“She’s an irish lass too.”
Amanda struts over to the group, gesturing to her face and her outfit. A demeanour of confidence which one could die for, now being shared with the other contestants.
“How are we all?”
The queen looks left to right, taking in the view of her competitors so far. Tough competitio-
[AMANDA ALERT]: I know I look stunning. Some of these contestants could give me a run for my money, but it’s a good thing we’re not competing for money - isn’t it?
“We’re doing great thanks. It’s not been too shady yet -”
Peach answers, although staring directly at the camera and breaking the fourth wall with a suggestive wink. Amanda glances over at the make-up cases, briefly interested before noticing it was in sponsorship of the famous hairy lipsticks brand, to which she retreated back to the bunch.
“- maybe the others will be busted enough for us to drag.”
“Just turn around and look in the mirror.”
Armani gestures towards Peach’s reflection, Amanda flinching as she finds her seat between the pair - avoiding any potential fists thrown in her way.
submitted by bbukrpdr to u/bbukrpdr [link] [comments]


2020.03.20 03:54 theabsoluteduncan Lauren and Jen Part 1 (MFF)

This happened four years ago (at the time I was 27). I was in grad school, finishing my thesis film and going through a kinda-sorta slutty phase. I lived in Chicago with two roommates. I strongly felt--fuck that, straight up knew--that my thesis was superior to the work of all my colleagues. This made me supremely arrogant and in some ways insufferable, but the upside was I oozed self-confidence. And I was enough of a workaholic that I needed a pretty high volume of sex just to make me unwind and gratify me. So from the fall through March I'd had my fair share of conquests; mainly one night stands, usually coupled with plenty of alcohol. You could say that, ultimately, I was just lonely and troubled.
In April I began seeing a woman I met on OkCupid named Lauren. She was African American, about two years younger than me, wore her hair in a bob, nerdy-cute in her glasses. She had recently moved to the city and worked a well-paid job as a sales associate at a bra retailer. I swear I am not making that last detail up. We talked on the phone first--she was apparently looking for boyfriend material--then met for lunch that weekend. She texted me a picture of herself to show me what she looked like. Simply from sending me that picture I got the sense that she was the type who would sleep with someone on the first date. Which made me glad, especially considering I carried a condom in my wallet.
She was a little late to lunch and apologetic about it. We somehow didnt have much to talk about on that first date but still hit it off. She wore a cutoff blouse and had thick arms. She suggested we go back to her place and hang out and I pretended to be a little taken aback and hesitant. She apologized again and said she understood why that sounded wrong. So I told her it was okay and said sure, we can hang out for a little while.
One thing led to another until we wound up fucking on that first date, her on her back, me looking into her eyes and pumping her steadily. She said 'daddy' several times. I thought that was a little strange and a little hot. I left without spending the night.
The elapsing week saw a flurry of text messages from her, many of them contradictory. She would tell me 'Happy Monday' and let me know that she was getting her nails done. Then she said she felt like a slut sleeping with me on the first date like that. Then she said, 'Want you between my thighs.' Clearly this woman was confused. I know it's wrong, but this excited me. It meant I could harness her confusion to my own benefit. And harness it I did.
Before our next date, the following Friday, she texted me and said, "Hey how about this--let's try not having sex this time, K?" I probably replied "sure." But inside I knew that was bullshit. I would seduce her and that was that. I arrived at Lauren's apartment with a bottle of red wine, one of the few things we had in common, along with obsessive compulsive tendencies. She insisted I take my shoes off before stepping inside. She lived in a 7th floor studio in a swanky neighborhood.
We drank wine and watched reruns of Friends. She talked and I listened; grew up in Ohio, had one friend, a Swedish woman, in Chicago, had many pairs of shoes, had lived in New York for a time. I asked her questions and gradually moved closer to her. I talked to, about how I was still relatively new to the city and other superficial things. At some point I put my arm around her shoulders. She didn't do anything about it. Then I moved my hand to her jeans and set it on her thigh. She told me to stop it; it made her horny when I did that. It made her want what we shouldn't be doing. I withdrew my hand, pretended it didn't matter, put my hand back on her leg after a spell. I was willing to be patient. At some point I kissed her and she tasted like lip gloss.
In not long I was going down on her on her bed. She had thick, powerful thighs that could have smothered me. Her pussy was large and marshy. I licked her and she made high whistly breaths and held my head. When I came up for air she kissed me and announced, "taste myself!" and giggled. When it came time for sex we did it once, quickly, then cuddled for a while and did it again. The second time was unprotected. I want to say we had a discussion and that she was on the pill, but I'm not positive. I just remember roughly raw dogging her on her bed, one leg hoisted up in the air, her 'daddy's' sounding my ears again. I felt her wetness and it made a slapping sound against my cock. She said, "daddy...daddy...daddy" in faster succession and I felt her contracting. I came inside her and didn't even try to pull out.
I wiped down my cock in her bathroom and counted how many other women I'd carelessly fucked without a condom in recent months (a: a few) and wondered how long we'd continue this for.
Once again, I didn't spend the night.
The next day, Saturday, I finished some editing and told myself, just one beer. I went down to this new pub in my neighborhood. It was a clean, modern place' the place to be. I had no intention of sleeping with anybody (so I thought) but I sat down next to a woman in striking purple sweatshirt and a stylish scarf anyway. She was with a guy who I assumed was her boyfriend. I ordered a beer and ignored them until she struck up a conversation with me (women will often do this in Chicago; come to our city). She was a freckled brunette. As we talked I realized we actually had quite a bit in common. We both were in grad school (she studied psychiatry), we were both really into literature and movies. She was obviously a little older than me but I didn't worry about that. The guy she was with shut up and drank his beer, giving the impression that he'd expected this to happen. When he was in the bathroom I asked her who he was. He was a friend and they'd just seen the Amy Winehouse movie, Jen said. That was her name.
I asked her if she wanted to come to another bar with me and she was hesitant and said she'd have to ask her friend. Ultimately she agreed. At this other bar I upped my pursuit of her. I locked eye contact with her and nodded at what she said. She told me at one point, "you make good eye contact." I nodded. A little while after that I told her that the problem with this bar was the tables were so big that I couldn't just lean across them and kiss her. She blushed a little. I went to her side and sat next to her and kissed her.
Walking back to her place she told me that she was divorced. I didn't care, but it made me wonder again about her age. She stopped me on the sidewalk and kissed me under a tree, long and passionately. Back at her condo we pretty much jumped on each other. She lay sideways on her bed and I ate her out. She was more vocal than Lauren, grabbier. I came up for air and confessed to her that I didn't have a condom. She said, "I have some." I went back to pleasuring her. I often ate pussy for long stretches of time when I was twenty-seven.
Later, I was inside her, moving slowly back and forth as he hands clutched my neck. She moaned with each stroke of my cock and balled up her fingers and scratched her nails down my back, from nape of neck to buttcrack. It hurt, but in a great way. She did that again and again. When we were finished, we lay there and talked. I think I took a shower. When I came back she said my back looked like it had been bleeding and I said, "yeah pretty sure you did that."
Jen had two cats that didn't take too kindly to me. But they did instigate our next round. I woke up with one of them basically on my face. She shooed them away and we started talking again. I was really keyed up; I just wanted her. I caressed her side and her stomach and slid my hand inside her pajamas. I fingered her for a while, lying sideways. Next thing I remember she was riding my cock. It must have been like four in the morning but I could barely make our her tits flopping above me while she bounced. I put my hands on my waist and straddled her. At some point she froze and I felt her thighs squeeze my waist and heard her make some very impassioned, gaspy noises that I can't type out; it wouldn't do them justice. I was looking at her tits the whole time but after her aria started looking at her face. She bounced faster and harder and looked into my eyes with an open mouth and hair flying in my face. For some reason I didn't cum. I was on the verge of it, but it didn't happen.
I woke up early the next morning. I had to get to a film set. We exchanged numbers and I said I wanted to see her again. She wanted to see me again, too. I sat in a cafe and texted her my number, feeling tired but excellent.

(End of Part 1. Please wait for tomorrow for the second part).
submitted by theabsoluteduncan to sexstories [link] [comments]


2020.02.22 22:57 TheyTooktheUsernames The Kendrick Lamar Collaborative Survivor, Round 8

Ok, so we’re finally back to normal.
After a bunch of people were killed (seriously were already in the 30s it’s been a week) F**kin Problems, Forbidden Fruit, Conrad Tokyo, and Do it Again have passed away peacefully in the night.
————
Hold up, BIAAAATCH: These your favorite songs
Mona Lisa - Lil Wayne
Really Doe - Danny Brown
Wat’s Wrong - Isaiah Rashad
Collard Greens - ScHoolboy Q
On Me - The Game
Tints - Anderson Paak.
Jealous - Fredo Santana
Hood Gone Love It - Jay Rock
Solo Dolo Part II - Kid Cudi
Birds and the Beez - ScHoolboy Q
Illuminate - Ab-Soul
Buried Alive Interlude - Drake
The City - The Game
LigHt Years AHead (Sky HigH) - ScHoolboy Q
Push Through - Talib Kweli
Nosetalgia - Pusha T
Reasons for Seasons - Terrace Martin
I Remember - Skeme
His Pain - BJ the Chicago Kid
We Up - 50 Cent
Kings Dead - Jay Rock
Control - Big Sean
No More Parties in LA - Kanye West
Kendrick Lamar’s Interlude - Ab-Soul
Yeah Right - Vince Staples
The New Cupid - BJ the Chicago Kid
How Far We Go (Uptown 81) - Smoke DZA
Pay For It - Jay Rock
Never Catch Me - Flying Lotus
1Train - A$ap Rocky
Easy Bake - Jay Rock
Backwards - Tame Impala
Under the Sun - J. Cole
Blessed - ScHoolboy Q
Smokin N’ Drinkin - YG
Goosebumps - Travis Scott

Fuck Integrity, Fuck your Synergy, Fuck These Songs
64th: Bad Blood - Taylor Swift
63rd: Don’t Wanna Know - Maroon 5
62nd: Radioactive - Imagine Dragons
61st: Rapper-Pooh-A-Lude - Rapper Big Pooh
60th: YOLO - The Lonely Island
59th: Love Game - Eminem
58th: THat Part - ScHoolboy Q
57th: Perfect Pint - Mike WiLL Made-It
56th: The Greatest - Sia
55th: Holy Key - DJ Khaled
54th: Stay Ready (What a Life) Jhené Aiko
53rd: Pumped up Kicks - Foster the People
52nd: Classic Man (Remix) - Jidenna
51st: NILE - Beyonce
50th: Freedom - Beyonce
49th: Fragile - Tech N9ne
48th: Don’t Don’t Do It! - N.E.R.D
47th: Momma, I Hit a Lick - 2 Chainz
46th: Survive - Mistah F.A.B
45th: Sidewalks - The Weeknd
44th: God is Fair, Sexy Nasty - Mac Miller
43rd: Babylon - SZA
42nd: Money over Love - Bilal
41st: LA - Ty Dolla $ign
40th: Mask Off (Remix) - Future
39th: Hair Down - SiR
38th: I’m ya Dogg - Snoop Dogg
37th: No More Parties in LA - Kanye West
36th: Cross Trainers - Pac Div
35th: Buy the World - Mike WiLL Made-It
34th: Pray for Me - The Weeknd
33rd: F**kin Problems - A$ap Rocky
32nd: Forbidden Fruit - J. Cole
31st: Conrad Tokyo- A Tribe Called Quest
30th: Do it Again - Terrace Martin

Round Number Ocho
submitted by TheyTooktheUsernames to KendrickLamar [link] [comments]


2020.01.17 18:44 db7343922 I (47M) need help from all the kind women on here with my OK Cupid profile

I'm out of a long term relationship (married my high school sweetheart) and entering this whole online / app dating world. I like OK Cupid a lot so far. It has more information beyond just pics and I enjoy knowing a bit more about the people I am swiping right on. I also like Bumble, but not as much info on the other person as OK Cupid.
Anyway, I would like some help on what the women out there think of my description of myself. Any input would be appreciated and also what women like you may be looking for in these profiles. I know everyone is different and unique, but just trying to start with one step here. Thanks in advance for any advice provided and please be kind.

Profile

I know myself very well. No need to learn who I am or where I'm going. I'm an educated professional, with a solid career, well spoken, caring, compassionate, passionate and do not play any games. I am an open person, what you and see and what I say is really who I am. I speak my mind and always want people around me to do the same.
I know that I am not the guy adding a profile picture in my underwear in front of the mirror. I’ve got the dad bod (and have two amazing teenage daughters to prove it). But I’m fit, healthy, exercise frequently, and play hockey at least once a week. Hopefully, you’ll keep reading to find out more.
I enjoy many things in life. I enjoy laying on a couch cuddled up with another, I enjoy spending time and talking with another, I'm a great listener and compassionate to all, I love to wrap my arms around someone and give a great big hug, I love to put my hand on a lower back of a woman and pull her in close, and I love to travel. I also enjoy sharing anything with someone fun. Tasting menus are great with one rule - we have to try everything even if it looks really scary. I also enjoy culture related things like a great museum (just saw Andy Warhol in Chicago and it was great).

But, like to have grand adventures as well. I’ve been within feet of Grizzle bears in Brooks Falls Alaska, a place you can only get to by float plane. I’ve rented an off the grid home in Hawaii built on a cooled lava flow. I’ve driven on the salt flats in Utah, hiked in slot canyons, hiked a couple miles into White Sands National Park (it was so very quiet there), wandered Paris after midnight to get night photos of amazing places (one pic is below) and many others that I would love to talk about. I’m up for trying anything at least once.
I'm not the man wearing skinny jeans either. I’m a man's man, when needed. I can fix things, hang a picture perfect the first time, hang and set up the TV so it works, and actually know how to use the tools I have.
Would love to talk more. Message me and let’s see what happens.
submitted by db7343922 to datingoverthirty [link] [comments]


2020.01.14 16:14 AutoNewspaperAdmin [National] - Grindr and OkCupid share personal data — latitude and longitude, drug usage — with other companies, study finds Chicago Tribune

[National] - Grindr and OkCupid share personal data — latitude and longitude, drug usage — with other companies, study finds Chicago Tribune submitted by AutoNewspaperAdmin to AutoNewspaper [link] [comments]


2019.12.31 19:38 alextop30 Need some dating advice

I was in a relationship that lasted for an year and six months and it ended terribly and after a few months of feeling angry, abandoned and hurt I believe I am ready to look for another person for a long term relationship, possibly marriage and hopefully children.
I need some advice with what else I can do to get some traction and start having more dates with women so that I can find someone I like.
Currently I am doing the following:
  1. Signed up for meetup groups in my area (dancing, food/restaurants related, activity related (currently cold in Chicago so this one is not happening any time soon)
  2. Signed up for online dating websites
    1. Bumble
    2. OkCupid
    3. Coffee Meets Bagel
    4. Have been thinking about Match.com
  3. Found some speed dating events in the surrounding suburbs ( I have never done this but am willing to try it)
  4. Started attending some of the classes offered at my gym - cycling, FIT, HIT ...
I am not much of a drinker, so I do not typically visit bars. I will find myself at a bar for a small concert probably 3 to 4 times an year or very seldom grabbing a beer at a micro brewery. Usually when you go to a bar and approach a woman you are having a drink and going to the bar by myself and drinking does not sound fun.
What other things do you guys and gals think I could do to meet more people and possibly invite them out for coffee for a one on one conversation to see if we like each other?
submitted by alextop30 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2019.11.15 03:47 PAKMan1988 I'm having trouble keeping the conversations going

After a long break and a move from Iowa to Chicago, I've re-started my online dating profiles/apps (OK Cupid, Bumble, Tinder). I'm seeing more success than I did in Iowa, but I've encountered a new problem in that I can't seem to keep the conversation going. For example, I matched with someone on Bumble recently. She messaged me, I replied, she sent a message back, but she never replied to my reply. Then on OK Cupid I matched with another woman and we chatted for about a week but then she never replied again, even though I thought we were having a nice conversation. She seemed engaged and really seemed to like what I had to say.
What can I do to help keep the conversations going?
submitted by PAKMan1988 to OnlineDating [link] [comments]


2019.10.06 01:14 itbrad80 Help review my profile huh?

Hey Dating after 30,
Help me out with this. I am a divorced man working on the OLD and have had not even a chat back from an interested lady. I am a premium Match.com user and a basic OK cupid user. I have had some views of my profile but not much else. I am gonna post my Match.com introduction here, maybe help me out with some comments?
Important info to consider. I am outside of Chicago, so huge market/town. I have sent maybe 50 likes and follow up chats for the women that I am interested in.
Since I am not including pictures here I am a shaven bald man who is fit and 5'9", not bad on the eyes.
I am also a bit of a rarity I am a believer but not backwards (I love science) and I am very liberal in my politics.
I am a man of faith who is silly with a side of puns. Career : corporate IT Operations Hobbies : running, fitness, coffee roasting, and playing music. I am a devoted father to my three kiddos who don't live with me nearly enough. I am working on my second B.A. I love having a full life!
My Faith is very important to me. I love God! He has gotten me through the rough parts in my life, but I am not a perfect person. There have been periods where I have struggled with my faith. If everything is always perfect why would you need God?
I am looking for a woman who will be my friend. Someone who I could maybe grow old with. If I am not able to be your friend this won't work. At the end of the day if you can't buddy up with your woman your gonna have problems.
I grew up in the southwest suburbs and have stuck around, Chicago is the best! I have visited many cities-states for work but I love coming home to Chicago.
I have learn to not stress out about what others think. What I can't control can't concern me. I am not perfect at this but I strive for it.
I travel internationally for work. I play the Guitar (poorly) and the bass guitar (less poorly). I have been roasting my own coffee for 10 years this year, my retirement job- Dream will be running a coffee shop. My second B.A. is in business. I have been doing this for 3 years part time.
I enjoy going to events, concerts, day trips, museums, the zoo. I don't have to go out though movies-binging shows works too. I enjoy sci-fi(shocker I know an IT guy into scifi) Star trek and Star wars. Also walking dead and marvel movies. No dish or cable here! Also no sports, I am not interested investing my time into a team. I have better things to do. Podcasts are great thing for me. Any suggestions?
submitted by itbrad80 to DatingAfterThirty [link] [comments]


2019.09.27 17:38 alejandrokayart Fewer people in Browse Matches?

Over the past month or so, I have noticed how much fewer people show up in my "Browse Matches" section. It seems as though the number of people has been cut by around 75%. And it is not that there are just that few members in my area (Chicago, so there are a good amount of people), because if I go to my "who you like" section I can see all of the people who's profiles I liked in the past, and a lot of them are still active. Just seems as though OkCupid is just not wanting to have them show up for me anymore.
Have I been placed in a lower tier or something? Because the small number of people that show up in my "browse matches" section are pretty much scraping the bottom of the barrel.
Has anyone else had this issue?
submitted by alejandrokayart to OkCupid [link] [comments]


2019.09.16 17:41 FunCouple69FFM New couple to Poly

Hello everyone,
My wife 27 and I 28(M) are beginning our journey into opening our marriage up. She is pansexual and we have discussed this when dating but never really had an opportunity for her to explore this side. We took to some dating apps like tinder and OkCupid but it's just like a churn and burn through people. We live an hour from Chicago in a farm town so very very conservative area when it comes to relationships unfortunately.
I wanted to see if anyone has advice where to look and how to come off as a welcoming couple? Do people usually find their unicorns among friends opposed to dating apps? Any chill places to go and meet people with similar interest in the city?
Side note: I have played with the idea of maybe even having another male join the fun but my wife doesn't seem to care but I feel eventually this will come into play. Any advice of dos or donts? Does drawing boundaries kill the act of being a poly couple?
submitted by FunCouple69FFM to polyamory [link] [comments]


2019.09.14 00:02 jw_mentions Possible Discussion on /r/u_Bot_Metric in post "Data Backup"

I am a bot! Please send me a private message with any comments or feedback on how I work.
EDIT: As of Sat Sep 14 16:05:12 EDT 2019, the post is at [5pts2c]

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--- --- Notes
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Posted On Fri Sep 13 14:22:47 EDT 2019
Score 5 as of Sat Sep 14 16:05:12 EDT 2019
Total Comments 13

Post Body:

['f05hbmo', 'f05hbp0', 'f05hbrg', 'f05hbu4', 'f05hbwa', 'f05hbyt', 'f05hc0s', 'f05hc3c']

Related Comments (2):

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Posted On Fri Sep 13 17:22:59 EDT 2019
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Conversation Size 0
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--- --- Notes
Author Bot_Metric
Posted On Fri Sep 13 17:22:51 EDT 2019
Score 1 as of Sat Sep 14 16:05:12 EDT 2019
Conversation Size 0
Body link
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'canadients\n\nInappropriate for this sub and especially thread', 'LEDgrowlights', 'MollieTibbetts', 'blackpeoplegifs', 'ukbike', 'fitmeals', 'onewheel', 'Screenwriting', 'magicbuilding', 'kauai', 'WildernessBackpacking', 'Harlequins40K', 'RepTime', 'sticknpokes', 'Kiteboarding', 'frostyman4444', 'FFBraveExvius', 'hobiecat', 'MaledomEmpire', 'Comcast', 'cbradio', 'Hexlord7', 'education', 'arenaofvalor', 'PAXvapor', '0belvedere', 'northdakota', 'totallymanlytears', 'Kossacks_for_Sanders', 'mennydrives', 'superleague', 'MTU', 'snowboardingnoobs', 'treedibles', 'HRGeek', 'StevenAveryIsGuilty', 'lokikg', 'AGingham', 'u_neptuneblu', 'MzEllaneous', 'r4rindia', 'newcitynewchapter', 'oknotizie', 'IndianCountry', 'PresentFault', 'omad', 'mazda', 'stormfront', 'WranglerTJ', 'addickted825', 'guitarpedalsjerk', 'CallOfDutyWorldWarTwo']
submitted by jw_mentions to jw_mentions [link] [comments]


2019.06.17 00:21 yo_baby_yo Do I suck? Or is it eHarmony?

I (32f) have been on eHarmony for a week now and I’m having no luck at all. I’ve tried OLD before on OkCupid, Tinder, and Bumble but eHarmony is my first paid experience. I know that the process of eHarmony is supposed to be slower and allow you to focus on a few compatible matches at one time but I haven’t had any conversations (save for one that I’m almost certain was a catfish). I’ve smiled at the guys I think are cute and messaged a few that I was really attracted to. I think my messages are pretty standard but I have gotten no replies. My profile is filled out thoughtfully and I posted 12 of my best pictures. Where I’m not a super sexy girl, I feel like I’m generally attractive. I’m starting to wonder what is going on here as I’ve had moderate success on tinder and bumble.
An additional thing that might be stopping men who I’m attracted to from messaging me is my location. eHarmony doesn’t seem to be very popular with my desired demo in my area. I live in a medium sized midwestern city and even though I set the radius for 30 miles, it always gives me matches from the Chicago area which is about a 2 hour drive from me. So maybe those guys aren’t interested in talking because I’m a bit far away. I’m not really sure because this was never a barrier for starting a conversation on tinder or bumble.
I’m trying to remain positive because I’m ready to have some marriage material in my life. I’ve had some recent disappointments in the dating department and those negative feelings are trying to creep in and tell me that I’m the unlovable person and that’s why this whole eHarmony thing has been really slow for me. But I’m not going to believe that’s true. Can anyone give me some tips or ideas of what might be going on?
submitted by yo_baby_yo to OnlineDating [link] [comments]


2019.05.15 07:00 ifeelsoiknowitistrue So it’s been a while

So yeah it’s been about a year and a half since I’ve posted and I honestly feel kinda bad leaving everyone in the dark especially when I ended with very suicidal things (also want to add a trigger warning for suicide/depression). This post will not be like my old ones with some small falsehoods to protect my identity as at this point I don’t worry about being outed.
So back in late 2017 i used to post a lot as I was a closeted gay guy at BYU. I was very very depressed and despite what I told people who reached out to help me, I definitely would have killed myself if I had not made it out when I did. In October of 2017 I had gotten to a point where I just couldn’t take the stress of going to church and having to keep up appearances. Like going to sacrament would make me have suicidal thoughts because that would get out of it. I somehow managed to finally find it in me to tell my parents how depressed I was. I also had come out using Snapchat about a week earlier, with a picture that said “you are what you eat” and some chicken tenders arranged to spell gay. My parents were actually rather good when I came out (or so I thought but I’ll get back to that). They said they love me no matter what and they wanted to make me happy. When I told them I was depressed they came all the way from Virginia to Utah. Ultimately I told them I just wanted to die and they decided that I should go home with them and said I could just go to community college as it would be close to home.
I was very lucky they actually were okay with me going home as I honestly couldn’t take BYU anymore. The stress from pretending to be someone I wasn’t was just too much for me. I would have panic attacks usually at least a few times a week and some much more severe than others. Thankfully I was finally freed from the stress from that hellhole of a school (the only thing I miss is the Barq’s red creme soda as I can’t find it anywhere else). For a couple months it was just business as usual and I was doing pretty good. I stopped going to church and while my parents insisted I go I stood my ground, as I knew that if I went back I wouldn’t be able to get better.
Well everything was going well until early January 2018. I had a job and everything was going well and then one day my mom for some reason is just really sad and is crying and won’t tell me why. At first I thought maybe one of her brothers had died in an accident or something but well it was much worse. It turned out that a week after I came out to my parents my dad started cheating on my mom. He went on a lot of business trips so he was out of town most weeks of the year, and it just so happened he was starting to go to Chicago a lot more. He would even stay weekends which was unusual for him. Well when he told my mom about it he said that the stress from me coming out was too much and he didn’t have the strength to stop himself or some shit. It turned out that the girl he was with was also Mormon, was married, and had a 1 year old kid.
I honestly thought that their relationship was over but my mom was very willing to forgive him. It was more the Bishop telling her she should try and fix their marriage but they seem like they have by this point but it was a rocky few months there. But for those few weeks my dad wasn’t home I couldn’t help but feel like it was all my fault. I felt powerless to improve myself as when I tried to avoid past problems new ones presented themselves. I had given up on trying to be anything for them at that point however and I stopped wearing garments and told my parents I didn’t believe.
Also, at this time I had downloaded tinder and ok cupid as I was trying to get a boyfriend, and I started talking with this one guy who was really nice and seemed like too perfect for me, and we had a date set for the first Friday in February. That definitely helped me get through that whole fiasco with my dad. My parents were definitely opposed to me going on that first date, and they even told me to ask them if I could use the car rather than if I could do something, as they didn’t want to support me fully. Like it’s kinda a loophole if I just ask to use the car rather than if they approve of what I’m doing. However I went on that first date, and it went really well. I had mentioned about coming back from BYU and he said his mom went there, and I was a little bit worried that his family was mormon too but his mom is actually an ExMormon too, but not the rest of his family. Still that date went well and we ended up actually making our relationship official and we’ve been dating for over a year at this point. I really love him and I’m just really happy I was able to get out of BYU when I did.
After January I basically was just finally able to be able to live my life like I actually wanted too mostly. Like my parents still try and get me to read scriptures or go to church but I just respectfully decline. I’m honestly surprised at how well I have gotten. Like I was doing so bad for a good while there and being mostly free from the pressures of Mormonism has really helped me get better. Sure my life isn’t perfect but at least I can enjoy life now.
I’m sorry if I’ve rambled a bit but I just wanted to say that I’m really happy and grateful that this community exists, because without the help of this community I wouldn’t have been here today. So thank you so much, and I’ll be active here some again, but probably mostly just comments.
So thank you all so much, you’re all wonderful.
submitted by ifeelsoiknowitistrue to exmormon [link] [comments]


2019.03.29 21:30 CrackTheSkye1990 Anyone else struggle with dating/online dating living in the suburbs?

I live in the suburbs of Chicago, about 30 minutes south in one of the larger suburbs and occasionally I'll pop in on POF and OkCupid and it feels like there's so few options out in the burbs, even with Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge too. I'm 29 and usually go for women between 27-31 years old but it seems like there's very few women out in the suburbs. In that slim selection, it's either single moms, conservative/religious types, or women I just don't find attractive.

Most of the matches I get live in the city and it seems like a lot of them won't date you unless you live in the city?

Now I'm saving to move to the city as I work there anyways, but it just seems like the suburbs are a horrible place to meet women and singles in general.
submitted by CrackTheSkye1990 to OnlineDating [link] [comments]


2019.03.26 17:52 d0ri1990 Work At Home Jobs - List of companies who hire from home!

Since alot of people on Assistance are looking for jobs and some people are not able to find a job due to lack of car or just cannot drive like me..

I am going to post some jobs that are hiring for Work at home Customer Service.

Yes, they are legit jobs - I have been doing this type of work for the last 15 years. You are an employee and you get a w-2 at the end of the year.

I do not know what most of these jobs are hiring for. But, I can tell you they are for big companies. The pay rate for most of these jobs are anywhere between $7.25 - $15.00/hr.

I am going to put an FYI in here - if you cannot find the work at home job position in the search bars Just put Remote, Virtual or Anywhere and the job should come up!


Sutherland Global Services - https://jobs.sutherlandglobal.com/ShowJob/Id/1957446/Work-at-Home-Tech-Support-and-Sales-Consultant-(Cable-Industry)-April-9,-2019/-April-9,-2019/) (I can tell you this project is Cox Communications, because my best friend works here!)

Sitel: https://my.harver.com/app/landing/5c337cece165b519df0c1a6e/login?vacancy_id=75351 (They hire for different companies)

Alorica: http://apply.aloricaathome.com/applynow.html

Sykes: https://sjobs.brassring.com/TGnewUI/Search/Home/Home?partnerid=26564&siteid=5606#jobDetails=1175882_5606

Concentrix: https://jobs.concentrix.com/ShowJob/Id/1903085/Work-At-Home-US-Customer-Support-Representative-(FULL-Time-and-PART-Time)//)

Kelly Services - https://kellyconnectjobs.force.com/s/jobdescription?backTo=jobsearch&id=a0K0f000015XtfjEAC

Conduent - https://conduent.taleo.net/careersection/conduent_external_portal/jobdetail.ftl?job=18033814&lang=en

Live Ops - (This one, I'm not sure if it is still true or not but was a couple years ago, you had to pay for your background check - but they give you the money back if you stay with them for more than 90 days.. that is the only out of pocket cost for this one) -https://careers-liveops.icims.com/jobs/1424/customer-service-retail-representative-%28monday-sunday%29---wfh/job?mobile=false&width=1000&height=500&bga=true&needsRedirect=false&jan1offset=-360&jun1offset=-300

Working Solutions : https://jobs.workingsolutions.com/ (Scroll all the way to the bottom to apply)

Arise ( I am going to let you know this is a 1099 job and also you have to pay them to train you - you have to pay for the training materials .. But, they also pay really well. This is the only job that I know of makes you pay for your training. ) https://partnersetup.arise.com/united-states-english/create-user-profile.aspx?utm_campaign=RR_POST_2015-1-1_CallCenter&utm_source=RatRaceRebellion&cookieCheck=true

Asurion - (This is for the cell phone insurance) - https://asurion.greatjob.net/jobs/JobListingAction.action?PSUID=74514101-da98-440c-9f2c-e1109af30f22

CenturyLink - https://careeropportunities.centurylink.com/?rid=careers

Cruise.com - https://www.cruise.com/cruise-information/employment/?skin=001&pin=&phone=888-333-3116

CSR - https://www.csr-net.com/join-our-team/

Direct Interactions - https://www.directinteractions.com/careers/

Dyson ( I am going to let you know for training, they do fly you out to Chicago and pay for your food, hotel and transportation for the weeks that you are there and then you go back to your home and work from home) https://careers.dyson.com/en-gb/search-results/?q=work+at+home&page=1&minPage=1&maxPage=1&sort=Score&countries=1

Expert Planet - http://www.expertplanet.com/become-an-agent

Grindstone : https://grindstone.com/join-b2b-telemarketing-company/

Hilton Hotels: https://jobs.hilton.com/our-brands/hilton.php

HSN (You have to live in FL or VA) - https://jobs.hsn.com/?nolnav=1

Hyatt - https://careers.hyatt.com/en-US/careers/

TurboTax: https://careers.intuit.com/ (They need CPAs, Tax Lawyers and CSRs)

Maritz - https://maritz.wd1.myworkdayjobs.com/en-US/MaritzCX/job/Virtual/Market-Research-Interviewer---MaritzCX---Virtual_R9143

MicahTek - https://www.micahtek.com/careers/

NexRep - https://nexrep.com/become-a-contact-center-agent/

Next Level Solutions - http://www.dial-nls.com/content.php?link=Careers_ind

O'Currance Teleservices - http://www.istayhome.com/job-listings/?search_keywords=&search_location=

Onpoint Advocacy - https://onpointathome.com/opportunities/

Progressive - https://progressive.taleo.net/careersection/iam/accessmanagement/login.jsf?lang=en&redirectionURI=https%3A%2F%2Fprogressive.taleo.net%2Fcareersection%2F2%2Fmysubmissions.ftl%3Flang%3Den&TARGET=https%3A%2F%2Fprogressive.taleo.net%2Fcareersection%2F2%2Fmysubmissions.ftl%3Flang%3Den

Service 800 - https://www.service800.com/careers

Support.com - https://www.support.com/careers/

FrontLine - http://frontlinecallcenter.com/

TeLCare - http://telcarecorp.com/about-us/career-opportunities/

TTEC - https://www.ttecjobs.com/en/work-from-home#wfh-jobs

Transcom - https://applications.transcom.com/OnlineEmploymentApplication/US%20Home%20Agent.htm

UHaul - https://www.uhaul.com/Articles/About/427/U-Haul-Sales-And-Reservations-Work-From-Home-Program/

Ver-A-Fast - http://www.verafast.net/job_opportunities.htm

VIP Desk - https://vipdeskconnect.com/current-openings/

VoiceLog - https://www.bsgclearing.com/contact_us/careers/live-operator-independent-contractor

Westat - https://sjobs.brassring.com/TGWebHost/searchopenings.aspx?partnerid=82&siteid=5197

Xact Telesolutions - http://www.myxact.com/jobs/jobs-list.asp

YourMechanic.com - https://www.yourmechanic.com/careers

Humane League - https://thehumaneleague.org/work-with-us

Work At Home Editor at Trilogy Education Services - https://boards.greenhouse.getrake.io/trilogyeducation/jobs/1392929?gh_jid=1392929

Book Reviewer - https://onlinebookclub.org/free-books-for-reviews.php

Medical Transcriptionist for SoftScript - http://www.softscript.com/careers.html

QA Analyst Vox Media - https://boards.greenhouse.io/voxmedia/jobs/1576586?gh_jid=1576586

Recruiting Coordinator for TaxJar - https://taxjar.workable.com/j/F9CE03A0A1?viewed=true

Content Updater for Media Bistro - https://www.mediabistro.com/jobs/description/393171/content-updater-verywell/

Online Tutoring - https://www.coursehero.com/become-a-tuto?utm_source=adbloom&utm_campaign=1202&utm_medium=affiliate&transaction_id=1023e03423af83120536564e2acb61

HR - https://recruiting.ultipro.com/PUB1003/JobBoard/f3fb362c-761f-0eab-0b95-2fb7b2ba04e5/OpportunityDetail?opportunityId=17005589-dd95-45dd-bd81-35748bf1a35a

ICA Notes - https://www.icanotes.com/about-us/careers/

Nursing Tutor - https://pearson.jobs/virtual-usa/nursing-tutor-remote-work-from-home/EE178699BABB456AAC07E5CD4905E81F/job/

OkCupid - https://boards.greenhouse.io/okcupid/jobs/1545816

Culinary Chef - https://heinz.wd1.myworkdayjobs.com/en-US/KraftHeinz_Careers/job/Virtual-USA/Culinary-Chef---Foodservice_R-16301

Product Support Specialist - https://boards.greenhouse.io/lingolive/jobs/1456952

Accounting Expert - http://contractorjobs.study.com/apply/0c001833007b6241467f027150556c455d7b1e56285d2f1b782156061b35124b234d7a/Accounting-Expert-QA-Contract?sid=fozl2KSyvI3BalYpoLAcrdhJ1ldWOgSxetL

Recruiter - https://www.ehealthinsurance.com/about-ehealth/careers?p=job/oVcF9fwF

Advisory Teacher - https://re22.ultipro.com/CON1019/JobBoard/JobDetails.aspx?__ID=*AFAE9DCED7C6CD0B

Substitute School Counselor - https://re22.ultipro.com/CON1019/JobBoard/JobDetails.aspx?__ID=*E43239935FDB95E8

Advanced Tech Support - https://careers.godaddy.com/job/arizona/advanced-technical-support-incident-response-sucuri/18045/8341837

Bilingual Language Coach - https://mangolanguages.com/company/careers/#/jobs/dfc17f90-fff8-48d2-81bf-d9464a5a30ec

Graphic Design - https://employment.byui.net/postings/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&query=&query_v0_posted_at_date=&418%5B%5D=8&commit=Search

Muse PaintBar - https://www.musepaintbar.com/careers-rep/

Video Editor - https://www.planetinteractive.com/careers/jobs/92529/

Enrollment specialist - https://hiip.com/

Basic Photography - https://employment.byui.net/postings/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&query=&query_v0_posted_at_date=&418%5B%5D=8&commit=Search

Design for Social media - https://employment.byui.net/postings/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&query=&query_v0_posted_at_date=&418%5B%5D=8&commit=Search

Medical Coders - https://www.codebusters.com/#what-are-coding-teams

Mobile Developer - https://www.clevertech.biz/careers/senior-react-native-developer

Wildbit - https://wildbit.com/jobs/customer-success-postmark-1

Medical Transcriptionist -http://www.fastchart.com/about/careers/medical-transcriptionist-independent-contracto

Aspire Lifestyles - https://chj.tbe.taleo.net/chj05/ats/careers/searchResults.jsp?org=INTERNATIONALSOSPA&cws=39

Enterprise Rent a car - https://careers.enterprise.com/category/work-from-home-jobs/430-1626-1625-5496/17267/1

Director of Payments - https://automattic.com/work-with-us/director-of-payments/

LionBridge - https://e-recruit.sap.lionbridge.com/sap(bD1lbiZjPTEwMCZkPW1pbg==)/bc/bsp/sap/unrg_appl/application.do?param=cGluc3RfZ3VpZD1FOEU4RjBCMUU3MDU0NUYxODBDRUEwMzY5RjRGRkMwQg%3d%3d&rcfcontext=GR/bc/bsp/sap/unrg_appl/application.do?param=cGluc3RfZ3VpZD1FOEU4RjBCMUU3MDU0NUYxODBDRUEwMzY5RjRGRkMwQg%3d%3d&rcfcontext=GR) (Note:
If you have any issues submitting your application or receiving a notification that your email address is already registered please contact Lionbridge directly by sending an email to [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) for assistance.)

Allianz - https://jobs.allianz.com/sap/bc/bsp/sap/zhcmx_erc_ui_ex/desktop.html?jobId=C2EBDE1DCF021ED991EC4E7BE1C79383#/DETAILS/C2EBDE1DCF021ED991EC4E7BE1C79383/

Wyndham - http://wyn-destinations-prod.adobecqms.net/careers/jobs/customer-service-representative-inbound-reservations-work-home-springfield-missouri-1903033

United Health - https://careers.unitedhealthgroup.com/search-jobs?jf=12

PNC bank (Note: You must live within 150 miles of Atlanta, GA) - https://sjobs.brassring.com/TGnewUI/Search/home/HomeWithPreLoad?PageType=JobDetails&partnerid=15783&siteid=5130&jobid=1501564#jobDetails=1501564_5130

Empowered Education - https://health-coach-institute.workable.com/j/88C9A22450

Capital One - https://www.capitalonecareers.com/job/-/-/1732/10757475

Alaska Airlines - https://alaskaair.jobs/jobs/ (Boise, ID Area only!!!)

Guest Services Store for Disney - https://jobs.disneycareers.com/

Cancer Resource Specialist – American Cancer Society: “Must live in Las Vegas or Greater Las Vegas Market… The Cancer Resource Specialist is responsible for handling a high volume of inbound calls from constituents of the American Cancer Society. The CRS responds to a broad range of inquiries that may include cancer prevention and early detection information, requests for community resources, material orders and a variety of other topics related to the American Cancer Society’s work. Position Requirements: Bachelor’s degree preferred; Contact center and/or customer service experience desirable. The American Cancer Society will provide some of the technical hardware equipment for you to perform in your role including desktop computer, two 22 inch monitors, phone, headset, keyboard & mouse, webcam, surge protector, adapters and connectors, and miscellaneous supplies. The position pays $18.00/hr.”

Appen - https://talent-appen.icims.com/jobs/4238/voice-data-collector---usa/job?mobile=false&width=975&height=500&bga=true&needsRedirect=false&jan1offset=-300&jun1offset=-240

Remote Copy Editor - https://www.webfx.com/careers/earned-media/full-time-remote-copy-editor-jobid5.html

Fancy Hands - https://www.fancyhands.com/job/apply/ (FYI - Must have a google email)

Schlag LLC - https://www.ziprecruiter.com/jobs/schlag-llc-dea0c5d7/customer-service-work-from-home-0e8a1243

HireKaiyah Inc . (Note: Location: Texas, Louisiana, Oklahoma and Arkansas residents.) - https://www.ziprecruiter.com/jobs/hirekaiyah-inc-853dce24/work-from-home-customer-service-representative-ace5390e

Contractor in Charge - https://www.ziprecruiter.com/jobs/contractor-in-charge-e5390935/work-at-home-virtual-office-solution-associate-a1907736

Andavaris Staffing - https://www.ziprecruiter.com/jobs/andarvis-staffing-inc-16b4441f/customer-success-specialist-work-at-home-1eade8cf

Alliance Advisors - https://www.ziprecruiter.com/jobs/alliance-advisors-llc-5de284d3/work-from-home-call-center-rep-no-sales-87c159de

The Virtual Call Center - https://www.ziprecruiter.com/jobs/the-virtual-call-center-inc-b92e91e9/work-from-home-major-cruise-line-travel-agent-2803db54

Verizon Wireless - https://www.ziprecruiter.com/ojob/d558e3af60ff9c11e94b60854dd45022?u=0QAp8Dy694kpcZLgxxi8bcdJXJ0tqfIvrlZmQ5QahYyGSyY2MfeWzOD8g-7lxPrK8Nbx06uGcqAdQT3I-dsT28FQWwob5BUkUMm0OhvvlzESjima-2LXb6rEMJjoTSSWf7paEb_8wacIsCMxZri-8LCgSLBXjXUgxR89HM6EN_o3H873ZqNeIzgWaRMXJEuTG_u-46qouQwhOwjRngC49xawATMXT0Ea9uh2f9tsuGMG91QyDPQe2jNVF5OaSvq2T-PP9b7-1sX08bmE21OBAL3bi75hWb6Ip5JLbOet6rZb9GX2FavhRuddwMMof2XRiAZBCAB6t99M16s9ElRB-UwovB4tmWGplsZXaKM433ts52jPVQIbbtwJZafdl4QOtnpFIAY7qb71b_GirM1ElcN_pYMQZmKqWcIGYQCpPaux27-mJMyKbB60TBpTp3ug5yrTTEpXeTjA3zKdy3Z6f9D8MYar5BpqMkpN0p8XF2BrRYw4bWHsWUz9dEfrLdzHBOLSetnSal47ecgoBrZwX_GqzADBREvZLQrW7ukwg2q7ebGLGoQ8yWHLAXm-_SuK7edHB42iWwNwKtoZWhKjpMLEbE61oLaNpOu0tsjTTmKAlR0aCJJoZC-06J_PyXdZIFCgcR3AcUUktMcy94I035AatlwPfFj2qL-6zvKq4eYJGErc6rOjShKxgyz9Hitz3DCQTxzKYuaskR9uSFB96VSrhLBjU0yIK-77NcnAy2Sc7L0_w4_MSTDoGXUD1G8pWnxPhH7lFr-Hf9sQBQHlQtU_OQ-fVxCCglin95tIuKQU268kRJzd3cqcZl-h9C6TMN8JfsHRyj1qEhWrW20II_4B2B-au7eP-SwoqaWEH8bzZ9t6BNtCygIOLbkx2sUgWTQrkK_KQVXIUO5EkB0J5edwJJ3EZFiFrijVAr6RRGq7cOidvlAkQVRrBnxvyoiX-EZL9mIwS9Pph_O-lYqXXHK6rNbmsPIyLzc6AdWUCXnHCO9wgrjDun4nV4tj8QVs

Work At Home Transcription - https://udreamjob.com/udream-job/2/55121/Work-at-home-transcription-in-Saint-Paul,MN?https://udreamjob.com/udream-job/2/55121/Work-at-home-transcription-in-Saint-Paul,MN?n=Work-at-home-transcription-in-Saint-Paul,-MN

AAA MotorClub - https://www.ziprecruiter.com/ojob/4be956f9b34da0b887d566039c88a749?u=DuJnLOGAVZydw-Gizs4WfBNY404SPMXOyp-5fzJkhPO8Y_Mnc8n4BhJStDA0KIKie2e-QJ8lRx0kFD83X8Fes65IQAyDHl1_IXjua5APJGlgq5k7wzKGdwwJ8Z0XXlRE0Enink8Z90L6nU8UvlzOGY1pPoTYma7Ty6u2RR10Ehtp8_vD557NVQxR0P4neS789-ac0HQFqntpaCfwn1ydLRqZG7zNGV5lCJjLAQ_AsPYEa_l1n-WdiYKyYgURosMCQ4n9f51NLpju-eDvSVuS1pOy3-4eiilsF5w2VwCOaTUSlmPKFvKLqx8B6tUuv8OfCYlzpQgY-zORwvO5SrYe3c5JmkSY-3XxC0z0aau5d4qs3-_llXJqEj9U_Dzy44oPocL1LMeZ0wCEQGYVQNowN9RSquDbaRz-ThY3Q5ocBkJTUKGlzhVdCUwdt6XfYsZr2VF-XpfVLzXiC_-D_YSEjMsM83_d_Ygx1NrUvEs_4WRuZxVfildMdFm9GxYVfTY-hgBLT4WluMZw_EfEMs4q-UQZGsF0WaUJjZ1teUpF62fwy9zkSmJzqlSbKKNgf1RUTEaAlPbLN9pvkMn9xtvV48-8--0RwbRcSeEgVaxMB5NqFdqCJJ4pzJB5QpB1uw9pd7GMbR6YPOXztCvQPHwxrmkGy70lxcAqM706BsNNyAlKbUVoG9KH9njEofdREoN6t6ekPKpJphPhRuh8VwUjWP_Z-oDOFtoed3GatvZtol-bOJloVB3anXR49NZ-x24kCcs1y0FFpRvrIQqsWhPY_OiuXozEnQf8Um9jKT_xPpvDwENnVYHoYWZuNXsMin_Cqx5B8Dwm4-_0suWJwEo6H58Srpoo9oBjg2rqBRbyCemA5P0_TeHQ9v1k2b6zHA5VJpAZcb2KDT81_BoOjFxg4bn4ZQ_mJ3xQU1izOp9fELdbXaEtjzo_W1soc3YkceteR9CicfO1hWNclbRuiK8fkOVhbnWfzjP32-JTwo6-FyAFLsJF8e1op8Z43rv3tCHeKErEyIWFoE154za6bCY9bg

Ispos North America - https://www.ziprecruiter.com/ojob/a7502e9c86f7bce99b9415ed99ba18c7?u=3uwr0gzkSui7KBmDDkDvcB1DgXupNDvgMa2IdS2SF9jtcxG-CtTSRZaFtiQzwBgIQYMdmLDvfirV_J5-zKLmGtOVodHOrRhZvu3eUW7n6dmR8sCtQwwzkarD8ICOvUrVJIu-qpMYTTRj6Fnowr7P0M-si-5wi5Ln18Z81JT5E7rVKyNq5su0wxTXEvYLKD6YKLZxSXqJghIhUmp3l-w54bZ8brd7wFOHFoGDLLGpyoWSznm3SQyjEApVZBZzhe3ILBOfo2F4msBL9T2VjcsGhJTtagAAPor4wXZOd4od74AmWvwD_-G9FQ1DJI0SSJxkB7t6qezzCfZTJKZIfp-NRWOZ5tvNxNA1VXslzXIEycLzYvYu4T4DGVYEZ5S_dr9CbQ3CHE2DBrTcOMygu3zVWNP4oQIbyoTYqvb1FhXhZH0ZMlRQYuWuYLePX4DejcxXwJUQLw2Bs-wmsYYZp7cwmJhd71-DkfPCA232c3cxVyM8JCd-tCA614sFqHackds2eZABuET-cEoj6qt1Een-QbK_NtFqkKmL7-cF7_NBVD9vHrJkkaHT5hL5QrJtY9ex3lXyy26NmNjpCi7jQtiQpk0h4PQn2Wa8acej4JFLkVf_7jFDXh6aLoWSPAB0GQ0VArPVvgBJfRMihhBwvh5TZC8g5ziFY6_32YObqgwD-WPwg4pfdK7NoY8LRrbUqrfHh8JPfzq5z-qSubPjPmUg0u7IChx1yTpwdSMiIqerKAdFyOvAcw6CWix-rTKbCK03vQGlpxsrDrFFcHP264dLTVF4kTboLfb2TtR5U3-1HSDxyv-gDLHUYplFEA_KQ5TUFQ5DmzhidgYUFFCRiiV8lZYnZoB4xfxrAeSNOrXN0F91MB4AlH38e5mslWvUWDI6oGJjijoXXYofQ2kMZN55cEJ5TVA0aZFl0MJ9czBIdUwwtv9kwer8q3PveZmxeWD36Fi8Raap1cFcaofYgtB8NN-HPuOT2weaZu7xwOK8ATkfuOGmVlz7j_UihVxJoI2HOKqcb96sJSzoN_CpRESwzP0tbqUae68TNFwCUfQfG6Gn_HFOKovjqzQiWOz_J0QUNIg5xRcKZ3xfHjjcaTr8FA


Language Link - https://theapplicantmanager.com/jobs?pos=ll1930&src=zipr

Walgreens - https://www.ziprecruiter.com/ojob/3795b414181b9fd283168335ec29d543?u=SPQ5p6xHI1GzHTUuHVzVvqWEt-wsL2ad3gnNPjiyrCp43t2Na2fLsKez9Is__39kzbOGkEPRtXHqAQrvD6fAoX3mucM2-ag1v399U-OHPmM50Bl9cBppFHRqyiSO2OWyXhUnChQPaTeYIM1IpVe5HxnKAixQobRNekMBEZ5mxOAmjJMD701zp9JAM5FnsgQ6ne7mx7wQ-9FOn4FuoTqkB79YehR3fPXHFgGNKKWdXmofmybglj2BCpKLPGfxXMUtfvgnd-JNIbeew0kCFY5GQrcdQHsaXyss0WhewTvoZ5SrmRNXPATf4icyPq1cZY7CkdcT7CGmSG6Y5igrRI6iafDMNrdl7JjuUg49D12ygTiIcIw7MvChls4Te2aif6QWgiv_zE5hMFurPq1qqLnhXjZUq4VLtwkDaeON9h0lh9qfr0hCEocOpX4r-X0tdh6aG2PA91oc9Y2oHfVDWKI1js5z5Ul8CX0wrg2fZe403t39aFdcwBccAu7u8HXmQvXHSDNJb5E_-tesqycjXpwyohxrxV7qbF0AgqHmcGO6VllW5yODPK-h9WGWA2G1TLvQWMHWOMbSuqaCrfbmJbrsI7pZnJqJtdvFbNd8lJ_OtqTasxVBNQprXZ6rgXLVQXvWXWu1uzRz8xbicuvb6y7whSRKIgrPYgmI26ZRWo0DWW-2qIa0_BmMgRso3XvQZT96faV9AVjlVBRt6JOIZS7Ko15pRsUgTMPhIFohTPGZBoh2k6ZmSJAFS27C2GWGdv74r4y7Eg90_AdZmK2LTS7jszie4pUqu9xUgl6zb7u-yjIXHH6nBtAfUfrg-4lALO7dSRRONRivwHahZTN_Q3KTmPgbUlTd8MK7UOITsZF48aWffaTu4PA5CU7j6uSkSSEyrpOlj3mqhpNs71BKeqXVegP3T2L9J2gyZvRKMU468WpQkRN5PgyArUeyCB0_gGPJPaCDdi3PwtOxjnmBTEaBzzM1Yqj6TcAAFps0KnsGKxo

Amp Smart - https://www.ziprecruiter.com/jobs/amp-smart-05609230/universal-customer-service-agent-5bb5a9e6

Amazon Customer Service (I think this is seasonal work - someone correct me if im wrong,they may not be hiring right now - but keep checking back!) https://amazon.jobs

Full Creative - https://full.io/jobs/us/ (Please note: This job hires in other countries, check the website to see if your country is listed!)

Also note for Full Creative - they only hire in Oregon, Texas, North Carolina, Idaho, Montana, Florida, Virgina

Monday.com - https://monday.com/jobs/C1.801

RM Factory - http://www.rmfactory.com/JobPostings/IQUEUE%20Agent%20Job%20Description.pdf

HelpJuice - https://helpjuice.recruitee.com/o/fastgrowing-saas-customer-success-hero/c/new

Ultimate Software - https://recruiting.ultipro.com/usg1006/JobBoard/dfc53730-57d1-3460-336f-ddafabd108f3/?q=&o=postedDateDesc

Point Click Care - https://careers.pointclickcare.com/job/POINUS485/Customer-Support-Specialist-Clinical

DataBees - Send your resume to [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

Philips - https://philips.wd3.myworkdayjobs.com/jobs-and-careers/job/United-States-of-America---Home-Based/Technical-Support-Specialist_311872-1

American Express - (Please note:

Morneau Sheppell - https://trr.tbe.taleo.net/trr01/ats/careers/v2/viewRequisition?org=MSL&cws=37&rid=9121

Karat - https://boards.greenhouse.io/karat/jobs/4220161002

TeePublic - https://teepublic.recruitee.com/o/freelance-customer-service-agent

Chili Piper - https://www.smartrecruiters.com/ChiliPipe743999684762749-customer-success-representative

Apollo Corporate Travel - https://careers-travelleaders.icims.com/jobs/1762/apollo-corporate-travel-specialist/job?mobile=false&width=940&height=500&bga=true&needsRedirect=false&jan1offset=-360&jun1offset=-300

WanChain ( Applications from all locations are welcome.) - Send your resume to [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

Agent Pronto - https://agentpronto.com/careers/client-specialist

Juicer - https://www.juicer.io/jobs#customer-support-specialists

Blue Leaf - https://careers.jobscore.com/careers/blueleaf/jobs/remote-customer-support-representative-pt-ft-work-from-home-aoQbsgpp8r6z-DcR_n82lY

Once Hub - https://hire.withgoogle.com/public/jobs/scheduleoncecom/view/P_AAAAABkAAAKDRULbZ63TYd

10% Happier - http://jobs.10percenthappier.com/

Aira - https://hire.withgoogle.com/public/jobs/airaio/view/P_AAAAAADAAADPP0Wc1N1qnC

MaGoosh - https://boards.greenhouse.io/magoosh/jobs/1587983

Doubledot media - https://www.doubledotmedia.com/jobs/customer-support

Abarca Health - https://abarca-health.breezy.hp/1eccaf22a04a-rx-customer-service-specialist

Food Revolution Network - - https://foodrevolution.workable.com/

Wex - https://www.wexinc.com/about/careers/

Ciox Health - https://careers-cioxhealth.icims.com/jobs/5789/client-service-representative-i/job?mobile=false&width=958&height=500&bga=true&needsRedirect=false&jan1offset=-360&jun1offset=-300

Intermedia - https://www.intermedia.net/about-us/careers?uID=&ref=Applied%20Directly&cjobid=91094&rpid=52184&postid=YyvS8uaqin4

LingoLive - https://boards.greenhouse.io/lingolive/jobs/1518270

Deem - http://jobs.jobvite.com/deem/job/ofTn9fwo

Care.com - https://www.care.com/vis/careers/job/1400991

CE Broker (Please note on this one - in the job description towards the bottom it says that if you do not provide a cover letter they will reject any application without it.)- https://cebroker.applytojob.com/apply/job_20190222221737_SIFRCJJMADEM52TM/Customer-Support-Specialist-Telecommute?source=FLEX

Xapo - https://remote.co/job/customer-support-lead-debit-card/

Jitterbit - https://jobs.smartrecruiters.com/Jitterbit/743999684031990-customer-success-manager-us-remote

I will be adding more to this list as I come across other job openings or work at home jobs and will keep this list up to date. Hopefully we can get this stickied in this sub!
submitted by d0ri1990 to Assistance [link] [comments]


#DateMe - Critics Are Raving Америка: Путь к Успеху - YouTube Dating App Review: OKCupid - YouTube OkCupid, SparkNotes, eDonkey, Excelerate Labs Founder Sam Yagan: His Journey to Product-Market Fit Founders' Stories: OkCupid's Sam Yagan Chicago Founders TV - YouTube Christian Rudder on romance and algorithms  On Leadership

  1. #DateMe - Critics Are Raving
  2. Америка: Путь к Успеху - YouTube
  3. Dating App Review: OKCupid - YouTube
  4. OkCupid, SparkNotes, eDonkey, Excelerate Labs Founder Sam Yagan: His Journey to Product-Market Fit
  5. Founders' Stories: OkCupid's Sam Yagan
  6. Chicago Founders TV - YouTube
  7. Christian Rudder on romance and algorithms On Leadership
  8. #DateMe in Chicago
  9. The OkCupid Show: Charla Lauriston
  10. EmKay - YouTube

i make video 'A big, juicy, popular hit' - The Chicago Tribune 'A perfect night out' - Time Out Chicago 'Superb cast' - The Chicago Reader 'A laugh out loud comedy experience' - Chicago Splash Magazine 38 ... The co-founder and president of OKCupid talks with the Post's Lillian Cunningham about the role of serendipity in love and business. На этом канале будет выложена полезная и интересная информация о США, программе Work and Travel USA, о Русских в ... https://idateadvice.com Try dating at OkCupid – the most popular dating application. Find new friends, people you have much in common, arrange dates and go r... We went to our very first comedy show in Chicago. Humor helps with everything. If you guys get a chance you should seriously go, the show #Dateme was amazing! Anyways, that for watching to all of ... Charla Lauriston (Chicago Women's Funny Festival) performs at The OkCupid Show, 2/7/13 Housing Works Bookstore Cafe, New York, NY The OkCupid Show is an annual storytelling show about sex, love ... Sam Yagan is a highly talented serial entrepreneur who’s known for developing such widely used tools as SparkNotes and OkCupid. He now serves as CEO of Match.com. In this episode of Chicago ... Chicago Founders TV showcases conversations with the most interesting and accomplished founders in Chicago. Most of our episodes are recorded before a live a... In episode #9 of The Only Thing That Matters: Getting Your Startup to Product-Market Fit, we sit down with serial entrepreneur Sam Yagan, who founded SparkNotes, eDonkey, OkCupid, and Excelerate Labs.